Spiral's post about the "non-liberals" who visit our site was very near and dear to my heart because I was thinking along the same lines recently.  Why do people even bother to come here and stir up crap?  It must be that they enjoy knocking down the bee's nest just to see the buggers go all ape-shit.

But it begs of a larger problem - the left and right of this country are absolutely, positively fractured.  We are living in an age when there is literally a Conservative States of American and a Liberal States of America.  The United States of America doesn't exist anymore.  In THAT country, there was always disagreement...but compromise to see our way through the differences.

So I'm going to solve this problem.  But I can only solve it for half of the population - the men.  Women are going to have to figure this one out on their own.  I'm sorry, but the female of the species is way too complicated for me to bring into this issue. (no offense, please)

How do we solve the problem of a fractured nation?  Easy - you need people to change their perspective.  Meaning, get people to look at life a different way, from a new angle, with a new pair of eyes because of experience.  Key word:  experience.  You see, I can sit here and talk about my life until my fingers fall off, and very little of it will sink in with the opposition (yes, I'm using that word..as I said, we are fractured...the right and left are truly Enemies right now).  However, if you get that person to feel or live through an event, it carries more weight and gets them to open their eyes.  All of a sudden, it's not hollow words from some fucking socialist.  Rather, it's an awakening through the senses.

So how will I do this?

At the age of 30, all men must have a prostrate exam.

I don't know about you, but having some guy's thick finger up my ass gave me new perspective.  All of a sudden, thoughts such as "why is this horrible thing happening to me?" starting going through my head.  "Why is this guy doing this to me?  Why can't this just be a different way?!"

You see, after having a finger up your ass, you realize that, perhaps, when you are a complete jerk to someone else, it is sort of like having your finger up THEIR ass.  Seeing that you didn't enjoy it very much, it might make you realize that they aren't enjoying what you are doing either.

Change of perspective.  Ding.  You might realize that it's ok for someone to be different...there are other ways and means to come to a mutual conclusion.  Working together.  Ding.  Compromise.  Ding.

Now, I realize that some guys are just set in their ways.  This is why I'm trying to get guys when they are young.  But, still.  You'll get someone who will just not change his ways of thinking.  Period.  End of story.

Well, not really.  For these special cases amongst us, at the age of 35 you get "swabbed".

Now there is nothing that will change your life outlook faster than having a large q-tip shoved down your pee hole by some grumpy guy who obviously didn't want to come to work that day.

At least the ass is used to expanding.

I can't say the same about the other one.

You will see guys falling all over themselves in an attempt to work together.  Doing bad things to each other?  Oh fuck that!  I've had a q-tip down my wee wee...there's got to be a better way!  Communicate.  Dialogue.  Debate.  Compromise.  Whatever it takes...the entire "my way or no way" all of a sudden comes clearly into focus.  It's not a good thing.

Perspective can't be taught...it must be learned via experience.

And once the men of this country realize true perspective, I can almost guarantee that they will come together.

Afterall, there is a sort of kinship amongst those of us who have gone through these...procedures.  You don't look at each other and see differences anymore.  You see someone who suffered just as you did...and damnit, you don't want to suffer or cause suffering anymore.

Man hug indeed!