OK so earlier I read Libertas's diary Why I Hardly Get Along With Most Females.  Tonight, I read this.

Very well written article I implore you to read it.

Here's a snippet:

So, I asked Mrs. Schlafly -- you don't really think she's ever called Ms. Schlafly? -- when might this country elect a woman president?

"I don't see it happening because I don't see one coming up the line in either party," she said. Democrat Hillary Clinton lost to Barack Obama because "people don't want to elect a feminist because they are not likeable. You have to be likeable to be elected." She paused a moment before musing that "the best route is probably being a governer," never mind that at this moment, "the pickings among [women] governors are very slim."

So in reading both of these articles I've come to a few conclusions.

You can either be a rock hard politician (with a dick) or a loving, nurturing, soccer mom (with a readily accessible vagina).

 Take Hillary Clinton.  One kid.  Cheating husband.  That doesn't quite scream AMAZING VAGINA to me.  

Being well spoken and a firecracker doesn't work unless you have a dick... and some balls.  

OK Hillary.  So you graduated from "Yale" in 1973 and were one of the 100 most influential lawyers in the US by 79.  We all know your acceptance into "Yale" and subsequent achievements were because your HUSBAND was president (in 93). 

Give it a rest, Mrs. Clinton.  You need to give up the politics and GET IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE SOME FUCKING PIE.  Maybe start frequenting some college parties and get a little wild.  It makes for better TV. 

Fuckin A man, Fuckin A.

Or take the all grown up version.  If you're a woman.  You whore yourself out while you're young...

Be it on the Jersey shore, or in beauty pageants...

Then, you grow up and learn your place in society.

Having babies and COOKIN FUCKING PIE.

Or whatever animal was killed in your backyard that morning.

So Hillary, and any other woman looking to be in any kind of position of power.  Take a page from the book of Sarah Palin.

NOT AS TOILET PAPER.  Jesus.  

The American people (and the world) don't want to see "politics" spewing from your mouth!  They want to see sexy Newsweek spreads, babies flowing from your vagina like a crystal clear mountain spring, cooking and taking CARE of your man.  

They want to see cute hairstyles (that they can envision wrapped around their fist in a crazy pummelling from behind), suit jackets with large collars that give the elusion of a smaller waist, giggling, evading of questions...

We all know that as a WOMAN Palin shouldn't be answering questions about the Bush Doctrine!!  What you didn't see in all those interviews, was the tray of freshly baked cookies she brought to the set!!! 

Was the media biased?? HELL YEAH.  In making her look like someone trying to be a competant, POLITICAL female.  

I mean.  Come on.  Seriously.

For not having a penis, I think she did a GREAT job with that book of hers.  

The death panels thing??  Fucking amazing she was able to influence THAT MANY people without the aid of testicles OR a homemade cherry pie (well I guess she... I meant the bakery trea.... bah nevermind).

So to the women of the nation... I guess the message is this:

Learn how to giggle at the comments of men (even if you don't "get" them--or if they're lame).  Learn how to stretch so that your feet can go BEHIND your head.  Dress to accentuate your attributes, and hide your flaws (think plunging neckline and baggy midsection... the beers you drink at thost college hook-up parties will start to catch up sooner or later!).  And remember!  LEARN HOW TO GET IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE  SOME FUCKING PIE.