Dick Cheney, ladies and gentleman.

As we all are aware, Mr. Cheney suffered "mild" heart attack # 5 this week.  (WHATEVER, he's fakin it)

It seems to be all the rage among angry, old, fat, white Conservatives these days.  Personally, I think he just didn't want to be upstaged by Rush Limbaugh.

Just sayin...

Douche.

ANYWAY.  

This "attack" follows his  SURPRISE appearance at the 2010 CPAC convention.

The former vice president emerged from the side of the stage to the eruption of the crowd that began chanting, "Cheney! Cheney!"

GUYS!! What the FUCK are you thinking?!?! No loud noises in the auditorium please.  You wouldn't surprise grandpa like that would you!?

Cheney had this among other things to say:

"...I think Barack Obama is a one-term president."After the roar of the audience subsided, Cheney finished by saying, "It's a remarkable time to be an American and a remarkable time to be a conservative. Good luck."

Looks like Dick's rootin for Obama to fail.  Hey man, all's fair in love and war.  YOUR party needs to go BALLS TO THE WALL... then shout from the mountain top FUCK those other guys.

Sure, a tree hugger or 20 will say "OHHH NOOO WE SHOULD BE UNITED AS ONE NATION."  But seriously.  Fuck those guys.

I mean, if I'm going to throw the Obama administration under the bus and REALLY try to flame bait and divide a nation I'm going to use phrases about the current administration such as

"recklessness cloaked in righteousness."

 "[W]e are at war and when President Obama pretends we aren’t, it makes us less safe,"

 "unwise in the extreme." (or maybe UNWISE TO THE FUCKIN MAXX)

"He is making some choices that, in my mind, will, in fact, raise the risk to the American people of another attack,"

Yes.... Sounds good.  

FUCK!!!

Cheney already said all of that?!?

WHAT FUCKING EVER.

Well.  I bet Obama was dancing in the FUCKING AISLES when he heard the news of Dick's heart attack.

I mean... Being "the bigger person" is pretty much a dead cause now-a-days, right??  Unless it's to lessen political backlash... right??

I mean a PRESIDENT wouldn't just... make a phone call  wishing an adversary a speedy recovery, right??

Oh.  

(Pssssst.  Click that link... or else you won't get it.)

 Fucking ridiculous.

Can you just sit and IMAGINE what this country would be like if more politicians handled themselves the way OBAMA does???

Could you just IMAGINE what this country would be like if we no longer were able to sit and watch a glorified pissing contest??!!

We'd all be sitting around and singing FUCKING kumbaya and GETTING ALONG and shit.

Well, Mr. Obama, I guess in YOUR world that's how YOU want people to act.  

Here, IN AMERICA, we scoff and poke fun at our adversaries' misfortune, taunt and laugh at those less fortunate and flame bait the SHIT out of everyone.

Maybe you just didn't get the memo.