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To Inform the Masses | 71 comments

Oh dear FSM!

by: cmillahWed Oct 14, 2009 at 08:13:21 AM CDT

I didn't realize I made such a horrible mistake. I didn't realize that the flying spaghetti monster was actually a deity. I won't make the mistake again, I'm so sorry to have insulted your obviously legitimate belief.

Next time I will use flying unicorns with laser pistols instead of flying spaghetti monster.

I apologize again for the pain I must have caused you and your loyal followers of the FSM, I send my sincerest regrets.

(11.00 / 1)

I don't believe in any old Jesus

If there was a God, then why is my ass

The perfect height for kicking? - Bell X1

[ Parent | ]

Many thanks

by: Still LearningWed Oct 14, 2009 at 16:41:29 PM CDT

Apology accepted :) As far as I know, flying unicorns with laser pistols are free to use when referencing illegitimate beliefs.

Although, I think the laser pistols are supposed to come out of their magical horns, that way, they have to be able to face you to shoot you with their Star-Trek-like phaser-beams...or something like that. :)

Would you like to join me in worship of the great FSM sometime? It's a very simple and enjoyable event. Quite simply, we dress up in full pirate regalia, then we make spaghetti with meatballs and arrange it on the plate to resemble his Noodliness, which we eat.

Man I'm getting hungry...I think I shall celebrate my Dear Delicious One tonight. :)

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I feel like I'm witnessing the systematic destruction of a people's ability to survive. It's horrifying. - Rachel Corrie

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Hot Damn!

by: cmillahWed Oct 14, 2009 at 18:01:13 PM CDT

If thats all I need to do to worship the great one, then I'm already doing it about once a week. Good old spaghetti and meatballs is one of my favorites. But sometimes I betray the great one, and instead of meatballs I use italian sausage. Oh boy I hope I don't have to spend an eternity in hell for that one, although, hell would probably just be filled with leftovers, which I'm definitely okay with.

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I don't believe in any old Jesus

If there was a God, then why is my ass

The perfect height for kicking? - Bell X1

[ Parent | ]

Hell

by: Still LearningWed Oct 14, 2009 at 18:17:23 PM CDT

is a beautiful, wonderful place where the spaghetti and garlic bread are always perfect temperature and pirates rule! :)

Variations are allowed when making the pasta...but the Holiest is made with 2 large meatballs (of any meat).

Mmmm...Italian sausage....mmmmm

Does this mean I have converted you to Pastafarianism???

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I feel like I'm witnessing the systematic destruction of a people's ability to survive. It's horrifying. - Rachel Corrie

[ Parent | ]

ummm

by: cmillahWed Oct 14, 2009 at 18:47:41 PM CDT

I have not made the conversion yet. But you could say I'm practicing at least some aspects of the religion. And I'm very hungry, its unfortunate, because I have no noodles, or sauce, or meat.

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I don't believe in any old Jesus

If there was a God, then why is my ass

The perfect height for kicking? - Bell X1

[ Parent | ]

Was I breaking the second commandment

by: LysiaWed Oct 14, 2009 at 19:07:20 PM CDT

So, on Simchat Torah, when my synagogue had the congregational spaghetti dinner, were we, dare I say, breaking the Jewish second commandment? My poor grandchildren and great-grandchildren; I did not know.

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If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

And when I am only for myself, what am 'I'?

And if not now, when?

----Hillel the Elder

[ Parent | ]

That depends

by: Still LearningWed Oct 14, 2009 at 20:23:38 PM CDT

Were you wearing full pirate regalia? If not, then you may possibly have been blaspheming against the FSM...but His Noodly Appendage is full of love and forgiveness.

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I feel like I'm witnessing the systematic destruction of a people's ability to survive. It's horrifying. - Rachel Corrie

[ Parent | ]

I want some pasta

by: ThePantaloon.comWed Oct 14, 2009 at 19:18:32 PM CDT

Sicilian style.

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http://www.thepantaloon.com/

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To Inform the Masses | 71 comments

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