Well it's a few days late, but....

I'm sure he wont be calling to complain...

Just sayin...

(too soon??)

Well any-who.

While reading any of the good Doctor's literature-- ONE THING is blatantly missing....

A SUPER RIGHT WING LEAN!!!  

No worries, friends, 'takers, brethren.. I'm ON IT.  

Ever read "There's a Wocket in my Pocket" as a child??

 Well, this is what I call "There's a Wocket in my Pocket:  Patriotic Freedom Against Nazi Socialist Zealot Tyrant Rabble Rabble edition"

What makes the "There's a Wocket in my Pocket: Patriotic Freedom Against Nazi Socialist Zealot Tyrant Rabble Rabble edition" so special??  Well, the "There's a Wocket in my Pocket: Patriotic Freedom Against Nazi Socialist Zealot Tyrant Rabble Rabble edition" replaces the cutesy/fun drawings of liberal monsters with real life threats to society.

This edition will prove to be the unequivocle right wing teaching tool for our children.  Your children will get a kick out of the fun rhymes, and you'll be rest assured they're learning the IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE.

I've put together some blog-friendly excerpts from the book for your reading pleasure.  

Did you ever have the feeling there's a ZAMP in the LAMP?!

 Or a NINK in the SINK?!

Or a WOSET coming out of the CLOSET?!

_________________________________________________________________

 The YEPS on the STEPS are never fun to have around...

 But neither are so many, many other friends I have found...

Like the TELLAR

..and the NELLAR

..and the GELLAR

..and the DELLAR

..and the BELLAR

..and the WELLAR

..and the ZELLAR

 in the CELLAR

 There's the YOTTLE in the BOTTLE..

Whom I do not wish to keep....

 But the ZILLOW on my PILLOW always helps me fall asleep.

So.. In my opinion (and of course, it is the only opinion that truly matters), I get to throw out a plug to the little sis.

NOT TO WORRY FRIENDS.  I got special permission from Fearless Leader.

"But why don't you throw up a diary as well? I'm totally cool with shameless promoting of family members!

And may I add you are definitely the sexiest, smartest, most FANTASTICALLY AMAZING member of Leftake???"

OK-- well, maybe I just threw in that last part.  I'm sure he was thinking it though.

** Just a side note--Nichole has a "different" sense of humor.  Just remember it's silliness. **

Also, check the kid out on Myspace 

Thanks guys!!! And if anyone has the means to make her insanely rich & famous, it'd be appreciated.

Thanks!  And Enjoy!

Dick Cheney, ladies and gentleman.

As we all are aware, Mr. Cheney suffered "mild" heart attack # 5 this week.  (WHATEVER, he's fakin it)

It seems to be all the rage among angry, old, fat, white Conservatives these days.  Personally, I think he just didn't want to be upstaged by Rush Limbaugh.

Just sayin...

Douche.

ANYWAY.  

This "attack" follows his  SURPRISE appearance at the 2010 CPAC convention.

The former vice president emerged from the side of the stage to the eruption of the crowd that began chanting, "Cheney! Cheney!"

GUYS!! What the FUCK are you thinking?!?! No loud noises in the auditorium please.  You wouldn't surprise grandpa like that would you!?

Cheney had this among other things to say:

"...I think Barack Obama is a one-term president."After the roar of the audience subsided, Cheney finished by saying, "It's a remarkable time to be an American and a remarkable time to be a conservative. Good luck."

Looks like Dick's rootin for Obama to fail.  Hey man, all's fair in love and war.  YOUR party needs to go BALLS TO THE WALL... then shout from the mountain top FUCK those other guys.

Sure, a tree hugger or 20 will say "OHHH NOOO WE SHOULD BE UNITED AS ONE NATION."  But seriously.  Fuck those guys.

I mean, if I'm going to throw the Obama administration under the bus and REALLY try to flame bait and divide a nation I'm going to use phrases about the current administration such as

"recklessness cloaked in righteousness."

 "[W]e are at war and when President Obama pretends we aren’t, it makes us less safe,"

 "unwise in the extreme." (or maybe UNWISE TO THE FUCKIN MAXX)

"He is making some choices that, in my mind, will, in fact, raise the risk to the American people of another attack,"

Yes.... Sounds good.  

FUCK!!!

Cheney already said all of that?!?

WHAT FUCKING EVER.

Well.  I bet Obama was dancing in the FUCKING AISLES when he heard the news of Dick's heart attack.

I mean... Being "the bigger person" is pretty much a dead cause now-a-days, right??  Unless it's to lessen political backlash... right??

I mean a PRESIDENT wouldn't just... make a phone call  wishing an adversary a speedy recovery, right??

Oh.  

(Pssssst.  Click that link... or else you won't get it.)

 Fucking ridiculous.

Can you just sit and IMAGINE what this country would be like if more politicians handled themselves the way OBAMA does???

Could you just IMAGINE what this country would be like if we no longer were able to sit and watch a glorified pissing contest??!!

We'd all be sitting around and singing FUCKING kumbaya and GETTING ALONG and shit.

Well, Mr. Obama, I guess in YOUR world that's how YOU want people to act.  

Here, IN AMERICA, we scoff and poke fun at our adversaries' misfortune, taunt and laugh at those less fortunate and flame bait the SHIT out of everyone.

Maybe you just didn't get the memo.

What determines the "strength" of a nation on a global scale??

"Trade?"  

"Nuclear arsenal?"

"Economy?"

I could go ON AND ON AND ON.

I think, though, we are forgetting perhaps the most important factor in determining which nations are HOTT and which are NOTT.

Here we see Kim Jong Il sporting some ultra super cool sunglassses, a blazer (sans undershirt--SEXXY!!), and some hair that is reminiscent of the white guy in "Color Me Bad."  On the Kauclair's Hott or Nott scale of 1-10, he receives a solid 5.

MMM.  Here we have a great picture of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  I'm thinking an Iranian Steve Carell.  40 Year Old Virgin style.  As far as the Kauclair's Hott or Nott scale is concerned, he gets a solid 8 for that "bad boy" rep.

Stephen Harper is the Prime Minister of Canada.  With the cold, dead eyes of a shark and creepy grin, I'm going to venture a guess the kitten was ground up and stored in a freezer (along with the corpses of 5-12 young women).  Mr. Harper, buy an iron.  That floppy collar is unacceptable.  You receive a 3.  But the kitty (may he RIP) receives a 9.5.

 A LADY PRESIDENT?!!? Mary McAleese is the President of Ireland.  The hesitant smile reveals some horse teeth, and the hair is very Hillary Clinton-ish.  Although the top is very President-y, her pants (not shown) have GOT to be accentuating that Irish Booty (the pastor behind is pretty much raping it with his eyes...).  So Mary, you get a 4.

MM MM MMM.  The President of Albania, Dr. Bamir Topi is looking SWEET ENOUGH TO EAT in his candy cane tie.  And the flag behind him (with the crazy fucking bird) gives him the bad boy feel.  I'll tell you guys what... this is one president I wouldn't mind throwing my feet behind my head for.  If you know what I mean... 8.5 for you, sir!

Here we have the President of... I forget.  Some kind of Asian country.  You get a 5-- for being unoriginal.

MM MM MMMM.  OK.  Here we have Obama of the Good Ole US of A.  Sorry guys, but you know what they say.. once you go black you never go back.  Great smile, pressed and cleaned suit.  He gets a Kauclair rating of a solid 9.

RAUL CASTRO ladies and gentleman!  Kind of hott in that, needs to stop shaving his eyebrows, will smoke a Cuban cigar while beating the shit out of you after sex, old man kind of way.  I mean... not to say that's necessarily ALL BAD.  I like this pic because it should be the Cuban version of Uncle Sam.  All things considered, you get a 4.

So there you have it, folks.  The Kauclair Hott or Nott, People of Power Edition.  Stay tuned for next time, where we feature the Presidents of Colombia, Australia, Brazil and other BADASS nations.  

I came across this article on AOL News tonight. 

Hillary Clinton is flashing her va jay jay all over the Middle East in the attempt to isolate Iran.

Apparently, her plan has backfired and has instead caused Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (we'll call him Clark Kent for ease in this author's ramblings) and Bashar Assad (we'll call him.... Basher Asshat) to unite and come closer together (redundant).

After discussions between Basher and Clark this past week, one will no longer require a Visa to go between Iran and Syria.

Isn't that kind of a slap in the face??

We need Syria to cut ties with Iran and aide us with Israel and the Palestinians.  

But... they need us too!

Washington still has some leverage over Syria, which under Assad has been trying to attract foreign business partners, investment and tourism. Assad would also like American support for Syria's bid to get back the Golan Heights, territory seized by Israel during the 1967 war and later annexed.

THEY NEED US FOR TOURISM.   

So.  I guess we could continue this negative reinforcement of "threats" and such... but I mean, is a guy like Basher Asshat going to really LISTEN???  Will Clark Kent say "Ok?!?"

I am trying a different approach.

Hey Syria!!

I am going to generate some tourism for you!

But you have to promise to stop hanging out with Iran.  He's a bad influence.

OK??  Ready??

 Syria.

Your country 'tis of thou.

The hidden gem among warring nations.  The beautiful, sandy beaches, ancient stacks and remnants of the glorified Romans, sandy... well sandy everything.  And if that weren't enough...

FUCKING MANDOLINS AND VASES.

Oh... and for the camel lover... 

FUCKING CAMELS.

And for the Camel hater...

 FUCKING DEAD CAMELS.

 So for the Leftake travelers-- I implore you to go here to plan your next Syrian vacation. (BTW Syrian chicks are smokin)

And for Syria.  

I held up my side of the bargain.  You are on your way to getting MILLIONS of people with this campaign (I assume).  So stop seeing Iran-- or I won't ever help you guys out again.

"It's sick, when a chalkboard gets a standing ovation."

--Glenn Beck CPAC 2010

Friends.  'Takers.  Brothers.

An event transpired, recently, that should very well have culminated the end of days.  

Pray to your higher power.  

Hug your neighbor.

Your children.

Be thankful for your life on this planet.

For, this weekend was the fierce coming together of high energy particles that defies the nature of strangelets.  Matter joining forces that the LHC can only theorize.  Vocabulary spewed that defies all nature and reason...

This weekend marked CPAC 2010 (At the Marriot in Wardman Park DC) 

Meet me at the end of the world.

Here is a list of attendees.

OK so earlier I read Libertas's diary Why I Hardly Get Along With Most Females.  Tonight, I read this.

Very well written article I implore you to read it.

Here's a snippet:

So, I asked Mrs. Schlafly -- you don't really think she's ever called Ms. Schlafly? -- when might this country elect a woman president?

"I don't see it happening because I don't see one coming up the line in either party," she said. Democrat Hillary Clinton lost to Barack Obama because "people don't want to elect a feminist because they are not likeable. You have to be likeable to be elected." She paused a moment before musing that "the best route is probably being a governer," never mind that at this moment, "the pickings among [women] governors are very slim."

So in reading both of these articles I've come to a few conclusions.

You can either be a rock hard politician (with a dick) or a loving, nurturing, soccer mom (with a readily accessible vagina).

 Take Hillary Clinton.  One kid.  Cheating husband.  That doesn't quite scream AMAZING VAGINA to me.  

Being well spoken and a firecracker doesn't work unless you have a dick... and some balls.  

OK Hillary.  So you graduated from "Yale" in 1973 and were one of the 100 most influential lawyers in the US by 79.  We all know your acceptance into "Yale" and subsequent achievements were because your HUSBAND was president (in 93). 

Give it a rest, Mrs. Clinton.  You need to give up the politics and GET IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE SOME FUCKING PIE.  Maybe start frequenting some college parties and get a little wild.  It makes for better TV. 

Fuckin A man, Fuckin A.

Or take the all grown up version.  If you're a woman.  You whore yourself out while you're young...

Be it on the Jersey shore, or in beauty pageants...

Then, you grow up and learn your place in society.

Having babies and COOKIN FUCKING PIE.

Or whatever animal was killed in your backyard that morning.

So Hillary, and any other woman looking to be in any kind of position of power.  Take a page from the book of Sarah Palin.

NOT AS TOILET PAPER.  Jesus.  

The American people (and the world) don't want to see "politics" spewing from your mouth!  They want to see sexy Newsweek spreads, babies flowing from your vagina like a crystal clear mountain spring, cooking and taking CARE of your man.  

They want to see cute hairstyles (that they can envision wrapped around their fist in a crazy pummelling from behind), suit jackets with large collars that give the elusion of a smaller waist, giggling, evading of questions...

We all know that as a WOMAN Palin shouldn't be answering questions about the Bush Doctrine!!  What you didn't see in all those interviews, was the tray of freshly baked cookies she brought to the set!!! 

Was the media biased?? HELL YEAH.  In making her look like someone trying to be a competant, POLITICAL female.  

I mean.  Come on.  Seriously.

For not having a penis, I think she did a GREAT job with that book of hers.  

The death panels thing??  Fucking amazing she was able to influence THAT MANY people without the aid of testicles OR a homemade cherry pie (well I guess she... I meant the bakery trea.... bah nevermind).

So to the women of the nation... I guess the message is this:

Learn how to giggle at the comments of men (even if you don't "get" them--or if they're lame).  Learn how to stretch so that your feet can go BEHIND your head.  Dress to accentuate your attributes, and hide your flaws (think plunging neckline and baggy midsection... the beers you drink at thost college hook-up parties will start to catch up sooner or later!).  And remember!  LEARN HOW TO GET IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE  SOME FUCKING PIE.  

We have a bright & shiny new name!!

No longer is the war called "Operation: Iraqi Freedom!!!"  

So-- War on Terror.  Out.  Lame.  No real imminent threat.  

Operation: Iraqi Freedom-- Who really wants to lose American lives to better a different nation?? You're just asking for bad PR

Operation: New Dawn-- YEAH!  Vague, promising, will make for a GREAT movie title in 10-15 years!!  

 I mean, with a name like Operation: New Dawn, it's almost like we're not fighting a war!!!  I mean, my buds who have pretty much been to Hell and back during their service to this country would probably have appreciated the name change sooner!! 

The moms and dads of the kids who returned home for burial rather than joyous reunion... they're probably PUMPED for this!!

New "plan," new surge... new name!!

Or maybe.. it's still a fucking war.  

Men and women, and Iraqi civilians and children are still FUCKING DYING.

Throw an upbeat, vague representation of the horror of war to make us feel just a little warmer and fuzzier on the inside.  

New Dawn.  A rebirth.  An awakening.  

Or maybe it's all a giant load of shit.

Maybe it's the same fucking war, with no pheasible end in sight.  Thank you Republicans.  Enough pressure from the right, and we have a continua...I mean-- plan for withdrawal in the war.  But with a brand spanking new name.

I feel like in more and more diaries I have to defend my approval of the President...  I knew (way back during his campaign) he didn't feel the way I did about the Iraq war... 

I wasn't expecting him to pull out (bah... men!).  But this name change feels more like propaganda to change the minds of the FUCKING SHEEP in this country... "End in sight" my ass.  Appease the pro-war righties by continuing the war, appease the anti-war lefties by... calling it Operation: New Dawn??

Great.  Fantastic.  Somehow I feel like we got the shit end of the stick there.

So... I'll leave you with a bumper sticker I happen to have on my car.  One of my Favs.

OK Leftakers!! 

I have my own series of questions I'm curious about...

We know your A/S/L...

Now let's get a little more in depth!!

Five Greatest Fears:

Street Address:

Work/school schedule:  (or if easier, best time to reach you at home... while you're alone...)

YEAH!  Here's to getting to know each other!!! ::clink::

Um.. You first...

( - promoted by leftake)

This isn't fake.  

It is a REAL billboard in Minnesota.  No photo shop... 100% legit.

While keeping my cool, staying calm and collected...  there is a voice inside screaming WHAT THE FUCK.. FUCKING... SERIOUSLY!?!?!  

OK-- maybe that's my voice...

Maybe I'm just overplaying this in my mind...  He couldn't have been THAT bad, right??

Shit.

Here's a quote by Bush, for Bush.

"As far as history goes and all of these quotes about people trying to guess what the history of the Bush administration is going to be, you know, I take great comfort in knowing that they don't know what they are talking about, because history takes a long time for us to reach."- George W. Bush, Fox News Sunday, Feb10, 2008

Majeed, a cousin of Saddam's who earned his nickname because of his use of poison gas, was convicted of crimes against humanity for an attack on the Iraqi Kurdish town of Halabja. He already faces death sentences in three other cases.

"Thanks to God," Majeed said when the sentence was read.

Government spokesman Ali al-Dabbagh said the execution would take place "very soon."

"It will not take a long time for Hassan al-Majeed to receive his just punishment for the crimes he committed against the Iraqi people," Dabbagh told Reuters, declining to give a timeframe.

The Iraqi High Tribunal also sentenced former Defense Minister Sultan Hashem and former military intelligence chief Sabir al-Douri to 15 years in prison each for the attack, and Abd Mutlaq al-Jubouri, a former regional intelligence chief, to 10 years.

Majeed was captured in August 2003, five months after U.S. forces invaded Iraq. He had a reputation for ruthlessness in crushing Saddam's opponents that won him widespread notoriety. Many Iraqis feared him more than the leader himself.

He was sentenced to hang in June 2007 for his role in a military campaign against ethnic Kurds, codenamed Anfal, that lasted from February to August of 1988.

Majeed also received a death sentence in December 2008 for his role in crushing a Shi'ite revolt after the 1991 Gulf War and another in March 2009 for his involvement in killing and displacing Shi'ite Muslims in 1999.

Disputes within Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki's Shi'ite-led government have so far stalled Majeed's execution.

Saddam was executed in December 2006 after being convicted of crimes against humanity for the killing of 148 Shi'ite men and boys following a 1982 assassination attempt.

About 290,000 people disappeared in Iraq under Saddam's rule from 1979 to 2003, according to estimates by New York-based Human Rights Watch. The Iraqi High Tribunal was set up after the 2003 U.S. invasion to try former members of his government.

SO WHY IS SADDAM'S COUSIN FACING 4 DEATH SENTENCES AND SADDAM WITHSTOOD ONLY ONE!?!?!  The article CLEARLY states that 290,000 people disappeared.  Saddam was killed ONLY ONCE (reference needed) for the mass killings.  

The Iraqi people need our help.  To bring fairness in the prosecution of Iraqi criminals on Iraqi soil.  If they can't properly deal with such cut and dry matters-- then WE NEED TO BE THERE!

This isn't about the elusive WMD-- this is about LENDING A HELPING HAND TO THE PEOPLE WHO NEED IT MOST!

In February, President Obama announced his intention to withdraw most American troops from Iraq by August 31, 2010. As many as 50,000 troops, however, will remain there for smaller missions and to train Iraqi soldiers. On June 30, in compliance with the status of forces agreement between the U.S. and Iraq, U.S. troops completed their withdrawal from Iraqi cities and transferred the responsibility of securing the cities to Iraqi troops. Prime Minister Maliki declared June 30 a public holiday called "National Sovereignty Day." The number of suicide bombings had increased in the weeks leading up to the U.S. withdrawal of troops, which raised doubts about the timing of the move.

Two car bombs exploded near the Green Zone in Baghdad on October 25, killing at least 155 people and wounding 700. It was the deadliest attack in Iraq since April 2007. The Islamic State in Iraq, a group linked to al-Qaeda, claimed responsibility. The group has vowed to destabilize the government and disrupt parliamentary elections scheduled for January 2010. Further withdrawal of U.S. combat troops is contingent upon a smooth election process.

Parliament's continued failure to pass an election law also threatened to derail the vote. After missing several deadlines, Parliament approved compromise legislation in November. The main points of contention were whether to have candidates listed by name or political party, and which voter registration list to use in Kirkuk: one from 2005 that included more Arabs and Turkmens, or 2009's, which represented a higher number of Kurds. (Saddam Hussein had expelled tens of thousands of Kurds from Kirkuk and relocated Arabs and Turkmens into the region. After his fall, Kurds returned, and the demographic of the region shifted once again.) Parliament agreed to use the 2009 roll, with oversight by the UN, and Arabs and Turkmens will each be granted an additional seat in Parliament. In addition, legislators also agreed to allow candidates' names to appear on ballots.

OK so Saddam and his cousin aside-- I guess in the end it isn't HOW MANY death sentences you claim--just that you cease to breath at the end of them...

Al Qaeda has spoken.  They're in Iraq.  And a lot of other places.  But we're in Iraq too.... So WE NEED TO STAY THERE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE!!!

Take the instance where they killed 17 innocent civilians and injured 20 more on a street corner--

one of the victims was shot in the chest while standing in the street with his hands up in the air while another victim was injured from a grenade fired into a nearby girls' school.

Wow.  Disturbing.  

"The government alleges in the documents unsealed today that at least 34 unarmed Iraqi civilians, including women and children, were killed or injured without justification or provocation by these Blackwater security guards in the shooting at Nisoor Square," said Patrick Rowan, assistant attorney general for national security.

This bloodbath and killing of innocent women and children was by US Blackwater employees??  They walked because of confessions given under promise of immunity??  

So members (unaffiliated with the US Army I will add) of a private organization occupying Iraq have senselessly killed civilians..

And we're there to stop the senseless killing of civilians around the globe??  

Or just the ones who speak English and watch So You Think You Can Dance??

I'm confused now...

I AM APPALLED.  

I AM APPALLED BY THIS "DUE PROCESS" BULL SHIT.

Fuck the Geneva Convention.

Fuck the UN.  

Fuck everyone not waving the American flag and singing Kumbaya around the late summer evening fire.  

This has been going on for YEARS.  

About 15 years ago, terrorists struck US soil, killing 160 people, including children and infants and wounding 680 others.  

1 man sentenced to death.

1 man sentenced to life in prison.

1 accomplice served 10 years (let out on good behavior).

1 accomplice granted immunity.

Fast forward 4 years.

2 terrorists open fire in a US high school--killing 12 students, 1 teacher and wounding 23 others before taking their own lives.

Public sentiment blamed media and music and deemed the kids as misguided youth.

Misguided youth seems to be a light phrase for the murdering of innocent children.

Maybe that's just me.

So why weren't we, as a nation, OUTRAGED at this due process??  At this public sentiment??

Why is Terry Nichols still alive???  Why did Lori Fortier not SEE A DAY BEHIND BARS??

I expressed to my younger sister, today, my disgust of the narcissistic Republican running for Ted Kennedy's seat in the upcoming special election.

I told her of his comment about waterboarding-- being NOT TORTURE, but "enhanced interrogation techniques."  Among other issues I have with his campaign.  

Her comment was something to the tune of-- "So they're terrorists..??"

"Yeah," I replied.

"So then... who cares??"

But REALLY.  What is the difference between an American-made terrorist and a foreign one?

Are the lives lost not the same importance??  What is this "act of war" vs "act of violence" BS??

Why are the Republicans taking issue against the US legal system taking on the cases of foreign terrorists??  

Because we're "at war??"  We should be waterboarding and beating these men because they share a common belief system with others who feel the same way??  

Did Timothy McVeigh act alone??  Did he not have ties with American groups for creating mayhem and chaos and taking the lives of others??  

How is this different??  How is Obama UNAMERICAN for closing Guantanamo Bay??  How is he UNAMERICAN for following the guidelines of the UN??  

Worldwide standards of practice every nation should adhere to... but SOMEHOW in recent light, many have laid these ethics to bed.  

Newt Gingrich is propagating profiling.  

Republicans across the board are pro-torture.  

(But only foreign people, of course--we're at war and all)

I just don't get it.  

How have these apples to apples become apples to... funny hat wearing oranges??

( - promoted by leftake)

The following is a thread from Facebook I was involved in.  

The status message that evoked this firestorm was:

there is more pork in the Senate Health Bill than an Emeril Christmas special!

A couple neutral passages.. nothing crazy.

Then, I felt the need to contribute:

Why are you so against it??? And as an aside... Are you OK with the billions of dollars now going toward the surge in Afghanistan??

This is terrible.

And amazing.

At the same time.

"WHO HAS THE COURAGE?!?!"

Apparently, Baucus--when he's had 2 or 3 too many.

But really... DOESN'T IT MAKE SENSE?!?!

Where is Grassley now??  The GOP has MADE this a partisan bill.  The GOP has decided to take a step back, stomp their feet and hold their breath until this reform fails.  Until Obama fails.  

They're facing the ultimatum of contribute and lose your career...OR back off--and gain the support of the GOP.  

Who brought this story to light?? Who is SO APPALLED BY THIS THEY HAD TO SHARE THE FACT THAT BAUCUS WAS DRUNK WITH THE WORLD?!?!

Mark Foley.

Resident of the C Street housing unit.

From Wikipedia...

More pages came forward, alleging a history of inappropriate conduct by Foley dating back at least 10 years. Foley had been warned about the matter in 2005 by another House Republican and the House Clerk. Through his lawyer, Foley insisted he was not a pedophile and asserted that he had not "had contact" with a minor. This implied that though he did not sexually assault any male interns, he did not explicitly deny sending them solicitous and sexually overt text-messages; thus sidestepping the question of whether he should have apologized (in public or in private) to the interns who had complained about him. Foley also explained that he had a drinking problem and had made the communications while intoxicated. He checked himself into a rehab clinic on October 2, 2006.[32] His lawyer also revealed that Foley was molested by a clergyman when he was between the ages of 13 and 15 adding that "Mark Foley wants you to know he is a gay man."[33] Federal authorities said the explicit messages could result in Foley's prosecution, under some of the same laws he helped to enact.[34]

FUCK YOU FOLEY.  

OK.  Seriously.  There are MANY medications that can cause a bit of slurred speech.  There are MANY factors that can be taken into consideration here.  

If he WAS intoxicated.. then YEAH some disciplinary action is warranted--just as any other job.

But I mean.. at least he wasn't soliciting minors.  Just sayin...

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

People in already shattered glass houses... well... I guess they have nothing to lose.

Once...

I wrote a thank you to Bill Clinton for personally travelling to North Korea to ensure the safe return of Euna Lee and Laura Ling.  

Journalists from the US traveling to China, who ventured upon North Korean soil and were detained.  Sentenced to 12 years in labor camps for their venture.  Two young women who traveled just a bit too far to capture the terrible secrecy of the North Korean world.

Just so happens, Laura Ling was sisters with Lisa Ling... a popular television personality.  

Beautiful story, nonetheless.

Three year old child reacquainted with her mother... UN relations discussed... seemed like a little HUMANITY in this situation.

Now, we have Robert Park.  

American activist.

Disgusted with the North Korean labor camps.

Crossed the border with a plea to Pyongyong--to end the political camps.  To end the uneccessary suffrage.  Took the Bible.  An extracted hymn.  And was detained.

Is there attention??

Yes.

Will he lose his life??

Of course not.

Not now.

The analysts of AOLNews and it's contributors feel it's most logical for North Korea to free Robert for his low profile, but still acknowledged status.  

After all, there are people who OWN videotape of his capture (they're holding it for the highest bidder).  

So...

My interpretation...

"High" profile... visit from Clinton...

"Low" profile...realization the independent filmmaker will most lkely marker the "Bible" to mean a white flag... and the mass acknowledgment on the matter will cause North Korea to set detainee free.

NO PROFILE... like hundreds....  You're screwed. 

I believe I'm retracting my Clinton "thank you."

Physical global talks only travel as far as The View's immediate family members. 

Once we talk about VALUES and PRINCIPLES...

You were fighting for WHAT?!?!? You guys are crazy.

We were promised CHANGE.  

Did the rational-thinking members of society expect it immediately??

Of course not.

2 years in??

Not even.

Real change takes time.  It takes well-thought-out planning and effort.  It takes weighing advantages and disadvantages.  It takes FUCKING TIME.

We're a mess.  All of us.  Those of us with steady paychecks are THANKFUL to be with the companies we are a part of--because so many are without.  

In the hastiness of the stimulus plan, many have benefited, but perhaps the men and women in most need... have not.

In the hastiness of health reform.... there isn't much reform at all.

In the decision of a surge and more money pumped into Afghanistan, to "end the war," Obama has appeased a number of adversaries, but disappointed his core group of followers.

Obama faced an AMAZING opportunity.  After 8 years of hell... general sentiment was.. CHANGE IS WHAT WE NEED!!!  HE IS TOTALLY SPOUTING CHANGE!!!  AND HE'LL TOTALLY CHANGE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!

2 years in.  Besides the recent closing of Guantanamo (under the radar), no real change.  THE THOUGHT WAS THERE!  But no real change

So what will this mean??

For the majority of Americans, sensationalism sells.  Sex sells.  FEAR MONGERING sells.  

"Give him time,"  DOES NOT FUCKING SELL.

Will the conservatives be right??

Will their tactics work??  Will the average American come to believe that SARAH PALIN IS THE ANSWER?!?!

I have a strong feeling... they will.

A terrible, horrible, wretching, feeling THEY WILL.

The Joe Lieberman effort, the dozens of online petitions I've signed... won't change the average American's opinion.  

For a society more focused on SYTYCD or WHATEVER the assholes with cable watch these days... for the person who can tell you the entire starting line-up of their home team, but cannot name 5 senators... for the caddy bitches that know Jessica Simpson's latest fling, and Britney Spear's newest scandal--but could not in a hundred years tell you the Majority Leader's name...

WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO DO?!

Write letters? Sign petitions? Or maybe even begin our OWN campaign!!!  Begin lying, instilling fear, and then, perhaps... stoop to their level??  

OR FUCKING CHANGE?!

Grab the reigns.  Nevermind Copenhagen.  Nevermind Afghanistan.  

If we can't fix things in the United States... then why are we so set on fixing things elsewhere??  

It will be OUR ULTIMATE DOWNFALL.

The men and women blindly voting for Obama because of a bumper sticker they once saw, aren't going to be impressed with the headway he ALMOST made on the world stage regarding carbon emissions...

WHAT ARE WE DOING?!

In how many directions must we be headed until we say STOP.

What is the most important thing NOW.

WHAT CAN WE DO TO FIX THIS.  

TO DELIVER THE PROMISE OF CHANGE.

And um... KEEP SARAH PALIN AS FAR AWAY FROM THE FUCKING WHITE HOUSE AS FUCKING POSSIBLE.

Because without REAL change.  And very soon... we face a very real possibility of our first female, bat-shit-fucking-crazy-fear-mongering-fucking-asinine-idiotic-lying president... EVER.  

Am I the only one who sees this??

One word.

Rambo.

That's the man I want representing me.

Teasle: Are you telling me that 200 of our men against your boy is a no-win situation for us?
Trautman: You send that many, don't forget one thing.
Teasle: What?
Trautman: A good supply of body bags.

Beautiful.

100 Senators don't stand a chance.

House of Representatives may be a different story... but I mean, honestly.  ITS FREAKIN RAMBO.

Ready??

Harry Reid takes the floor.  Word vomit leaks from his mouth without either force nor real substance.  He paces a bit, moving around the room.  

General attitude in the room on either side is not one of approval.  

This administration isn't about meeting halvsies.

As he moves back toward a wall, a set of eyes open in the seemingly unbroken decorative wallpaper.

BAM.

Health Reform.

Done.

Don't like it??

He'll knife you.

Afghanistan and Iraq??  Send Rambo.  

FIX IT, ASSHOLES.

Or... he'll blow your fucking head off.

THERE IS NO NATION ON THIS PLANET THAT WOULD LOOK AT THE US AS BEING WEAK WITH RAMBO HEADING THE ADMINISTRATION.  

We could pull out of Iraq and Afghanistan TOMORROW.  And no one would say a word.  We could hold little white flags of surrender to these nations--and no one would say a word.  Because... well...

YOU DON'T FUCK WITH RAMBO.

So, fuck this administration.  Time to look to bigger and better ventures.

RAMBO 2012.

I'm a little "disappointed........."  With... EVERYTHING.

AOL News was a plethora of information tonight--

Little tinglies of anticipation shuddered through my body as I read the top headlines.

We're expecting THUNDER SNOW here in the Northeast.  A very rare occurrence of lighting and thunder during massive snowfall conditions.  Should start within the hour.  

Then... "Dems Secure 60th Vote For Health Reform"

Fucking yay.

What does it even matter anymore??

It's like promising your kid a dirt bike.  Then, upon taking them to the store--saying "Sorry, Billy, it's too expensive but what we CAN do is give you a MOUNTAIN BIKE."  It's no freakin dirt bike, but the kid's still happy.

Once in the ... mountain bike aisle?? ... a looming and decrepit man dressed all in black, with transparently white skin, terrible breath and a long, bony, wavering finger tells you all the EVILS of mountain bikes.  

"OK, Billy.  It seems as though owning a mountain bike will cause you to strangle puppies and smoke weed..."

And after compromise after compromise after compromise... the kid walks with a fucking pack of sugarless gum.

I digress.

Then, I read of Obama's trip to Copenhagen to meet with the UN.  

Once again... nothing accomplished.  The US agrees to throw billions of dollars to "developing" nations to reduce emissions... but reducing the emissions in our own country is too much to ask...

So Venezuela is pissed at Obama.  

Fucking Venezuela.

OH... and nothing has actually been signed into a legally binding contract.

Thhheeeeeeennnnn I read about the defense bill.  

Don't get me started.  BILLIONS UPON BILLIONS OF MORE DOLLARS THROWN INTO THIS FUCKING C.F.

So now, EVERYONE IS PISSED.  Or at the very least disappointed.

There is not one single group who's agenda has been met--or who can hope to reach fully their expectations.  

Unless there's a convening of the Indecisive (metaphorically) Dickless Americans Society I have not been formally made aware of.

Please, sign me up.  Last I checked, being a part of the functioning members of society meant REAL FUCKING DECISIONS WITH REAL FUCKING CONSEQUENCES AT SOME POINT DURING YOUR CAREER.

And this is not aimed primarily at Obama.  This is not an anti-Obama diary.  

THIS IS A WHAT THE FUCK HAVE WE DEVOLVED TO AS FUCKING AMERICANS DIARY.

All of this started with great promise.  

And so, I'm angry.  AT EVERYONE.  To the conservatives who used fear mongering and lies to impede the progress of what COULD HAVE BEEN the greatest reform of our lifetimes.  

To them,

AWESOME FUCKING JOB.  Your kids won't have to pay quite as much for this.  Hopefully, after you're long gone from this planet, and THEY'RE suffering hard times I'm sure they'll be thankful their taxes aren't quite so high.  I'm sure, when THEY are unable to provide for THEIR children due to high medical costs, or maybe when THEY are denied coverage for some claim-- they'll be thanking you then too.  FOR THE FUCKING PRINCIPLE.  Right??

To Harry Reid, Joe Lieberman, Bart Stupak and any other sorry excuse for a FUCKING human being who aimed to impede the progress of Health Reform:

A big, giant, FUCK YOU.

And to the industries of this nation, slowly but surely poisoning the earth and our priceless natural resources.  To the conservatives who fail to recognize global warming as fact (or at least a FUCKING POSSIBILITY THAT SHOULD BE ADDRESSED), and to the leaders with the power to start proactively searching for alternate methods of energy and fuel (and haven't done so)...

YOU FUCKING SUCK.  Grow a pair.  Fix the emissions HERE.  The US and China are the 2 top offenders... and Obama is drafting bills for the UN for THE REST OF THE WORLD to follow?

Maybe MY logic is the one that's flawed??

BLAH.

Did I mention I'm angry?

Roman Catholic bishops, meanwhile, put the Senate on notice they will oppose the bill unless it includes stricter curbs. "Failure to exclude abortion funding will turn allies into adversaries and require us and others to oppose this bill because it abandons both principle and precedent," said Cardinal Francis George, president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.

(thanks Faultguy for this one)

Yeah, that's right Senate.  

YOU'RE ON NOTICE.

THIS IS ABANDONING PRINCIPLE AND PRECEDENT!!!  And if the Vatican holds one thing dear, it's principle and precedent.

When the Vatican learned of the massive amounts of sexual abuse occurring in their ranks, what did they do??

...the worldwide Church also prohibited the ordination of men with "deep-seated homosexual tendencies".

Because as we all know, if you're homosexual--you also have sex with young boys.  It's science.  

HOWEVER, the question remains-- WHERE DID THE PEDOPHILES GO??

Well, it's a little known fact, the Vatican has kept them hidden in a shroud of secrecy 1 mile below the Earth's surface--with only Gary Coleman and Macauly Culkin for sustenance.

These creatures have been kept chained, without sunlight, without food or water, for years.  Devolving into a primitive state, here is an artist's rendering as to what these monsters look like now

(--Craig Stephens)

The Vatican is prepared to allow these beasts to reemerge and wage a holy war against the Senate and any advocate of a public option.  

There will be panic and hysteria in the streets.  Billions will be spent in the attempt to snuff the life of these creatures, but as they feast upon alter boys, and troubled teens--THEIR NUMBERS WILL GROW.  

And as the scene unravels, as countless lives are lost in blood splattered mayhem... Looking down from a NY luxury suite will be the top members of the Vatican, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann and Bart Stupak , hand-in-hand (and saying the Lord's Prayer).  As they bask in an undeserved sense of accomplishment, there will be an unspoken and warm phrase in the air.  "I told'ya so."

Because with this information, it is evident:  Passing the Public Option will truly create a Hell On Earth.

You wouldn't want THAT on your conscience.  Would you?

So Harry Reid made a boo boo.

"This is indeed historic and I'm not afraid to say it is," Reid said. "But instead of joining us on the right side of history, all Republicans can come up with is, 'Slow down, stop everything, start over.'

"If you think you've heard these excuses before, you're right. When this country belatedly recognized the wrongs of slavery, there were those who dug in their heels and said, "Slow down, it's too early, things aren't bad enough.'" Reid added the women's suffrage movement and the fight for civil rights to the list of fights that overcame even the staunchest opposition. "History is repeating itself before our eyes....If not now when?" Reid asked rhetorically.

He related the challenge of passing a public option to the challenge of freeing the slaves.  He wrongly named the Republicans as the obstacle in both cases.

Shame on him.

Michael Steele has come forward outraged.

THHHHEEEEERE he is!! Took me a while to point him out in that crowd...

Was that picture taken before or after he was called by like 80% of the GOP to resign??

Doesn't matter, I guess...  

OK, he's an African American.  This type of irresponsible statement is offensive (even to those of us bearing Caucasian descent), it may or may not call for an apology--

Was Reid comparing the political atmosphere, or the actual events taking place??  

Either way, the comment was definitely insensitive--and borderline GOP-esque in nature.  

But we're talking about the party who throw around references to the Holocaust more often than they change their underwear.  We're talking of a party who openly wish for the current administration to fail.  We're talking... well ... you know the schpeel.

OK.  For the man so publicly outraged--it seems he's made a few insensitive/idiotic statements himself.

So, without further ado, here is a list of my top ten FAV Michael Steele quotes.

#10:  

Steele said he, rather than Limbaugh, is "the de facto leader of the Republican Party. Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. Rush Limbaugh's whole thing is entertainment. Yes, it is incendiary. Yes, it is ugly."

Ohhhh damn, Limbaugh, NEED SOME ALOE FOR THAT BURN!?!

"I have enormous respect for Rush Limbaugh. I was maybe a little bit inarticulate. There was no attempt on my part to diminish his voice or his leadership. I went back at that tape and I realized words that I said weren't what I was thinking. It was one of those things where I thinking I was saying one thing, and it came out differently. What I was trying to say was a lot of people want to make Rush the scapegoat, the bogeyman, and he's not.

Shit.

#9:

"I am a Republican who happens to be African-American."

#8:

"White Republicans have been scared of me."

#7:

"I ask God, 'Hey, let me show just a little bit of love, so I absolutely don't go out and kick this person's ass'"

On his retracting of pro-life statements, stating the decision should be on the state, and the the decision in Roe v Wade was wrong.

#6:

"When people go out to town halls, they go out to the community, and they're like this. It makes for great TV. You'll probably make it tonight. Enjoy it."

In response to a woman who rose to tell the story of her deceased mother-who had died six months earlier to cancer, because she could no longer afford the chemo.

Yeah, Steele!  You showed her!  Damn bitch, I bet her mom isn't even dead!!  I wanna see a body.

#5:

"You of all folks know what happens when people decide they want to experiment on human beings, when they want to take your life and use it as a tool."

Relating STEM CELL RESEARCH to THE FUCKING HOLOCAUST.  TO A FUCKING JEWISH CROWD.

Yeah.  Reid should be burned.

#4:

"No, no, no. What would we do that for? What, are you crazy? No. Why would we backslide on a core, founding value of this country?"

Steele on gay civil unions.  Our founding fathers must have snuck that one in without us looking--

Oh.. here it is

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.  No soldier shall, also, lay with consenting Owner as the beast with two backs.  

#3:
THE OREO COOKIE.

Sweet, delicious treat.  OF RACISM

September 26th, 2002-Gubernational Debate.

No problem.  Event goes well.  Everyone goes home.

October 1st, 2002 :

"Steele said that one or more Oreo cookies had rolled to his feet during the debate suggesting a racist statement against him, that of being black on the outside and white on the inside like an Oreo. "Maybe it was just someone having their snack, but it was there," Steele said. "If it happened, shame on them if they are that immature and that threatened by me.""

November, 2005 :

"It was raining Oreos... They were thick in the air like locusts. I was there. It was very real. It wasn't subtle."

"In a November 2005 Hannity and Colmes appearance, Steele agreed with Hannity that cookies were thrown at him."

BASTARDS.  I praise Steele for coming forward with such COURAGE after all those years.

#2:

"After someone in the audience said, "I'll bring the collard greens," Steele added, "I got the fried chicken and potato salad.""

Racism is alive.

AND MY NUMBER ONE ALL TIME FAVORITE MICHAEL STEELE QUOTE!?!?!

"We are cooling. We are not warming. The warming you see out there, the supposed warming, and I use my fingers as quotation marks, is part of the cooling process. Greenland, which is covered in ice, it was once called Greenland for a reason, right?"

Maybe he was sleeping through his 3rd grade geography lesson???

Thank you, Erik The Red.

And thank you... Steele the... idiot.