Just as Dubya was misunderestimated, Sarah Palin has been refudiated.

Recently, Sarah Palin went on Twitter and called on peaceful Muslims to refudiate the building of a mosque at ground zero. The fact that "refudiate" is not a word caused her no dismay, but she likened herself to Shakespeare in creating words. Well, the gates of Twitter Hell opened up on that one. There is a new search on Twitter called #shakespalin, along with a new user id, in which Twitter users come up with some golden Shakespeare paraphrases. Several of them actually made to Time News Feeds. http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/...

Here are just a few goodies:

(This deserves a front page acknowledgement-- thanks to Lysia and Faultguy--for teaming up to get this out to one and all! - promoted by lamb12)

Lysia asked for someone to repost this...and I gladly will.  It's worth the 11 minutes of your life.  If nothing else, just enjoy the dry erase board artwork [I'm no artist, so I'm always enthralled by what people can do with nothing more than a canvas, a pen and their hand].

Anyway, this is a great video that goes a long way to explain how the country got to this point from where it was in the 70's.  I actually agree that labor shouldn't have too much power [so much for being a marxist, heh].  But the pendulum has shifted way Way WAY too far to the other side.  I especially enjoyed the part where it talked about stagnant wages and how they got around that problem with easy credit.  Nice way to not solve the problem.

Enjoy!

No fuckin' way!  

A U.S. appeals court ruled that the FCC's rules on profanity violate the First Amendment!  No shit!!

Per the BBC's website:

US appeals court strikes down media swearing ban

A US appeals court has struck down a government policy that banned the broadcasting of profanity, ruling that the rule is unconstitutional.

That's fucking awesome.  

(here's Frenchie demonstrating wit and humor, as only he can.  A great read for those who don't have their head "located in their rectal cavity". - promoted by faultguy)

Friday, June 25 (MrF): In an apparent attempt to prove herself every bit as capable of exaggeration, misstatement, outright lying and idiocy as any other half-term female governor of a border state with a name that begins and ends with "a," Governor Jan Brewer declared Friday that most illegal immigrants crossing the border into Arizona are transporting drugs.  

Sources say Brewer may have been using intelligence sources similar to those utilized by former Co-President Dick Cheney in the run-up to the Iraq Quagmire War, but Mr. Cheney's ass could not be reached for comment (thankfully).



Gov. Jan Brewer, leveling assertions
while sporting a "Sarah-do"

One year ago Mr. Obama was inaugurated in a sea of hope and optimism. After eight years of tomfoolery by a certain former Texas governor, the American people were eager to be lead in a new direction by a new, young president. One year later, on the heels of the Democrats using their senatorial supermajority, Mr. Obama's presidency is akin to a car speeding down the freeway that has lost one of its tires and is careening out of control while its driver tries futilely to continue to drive straight. It is foolish, of course, to expect Mr. Obama to fulfill all of his campaign promises within the first 365 days, so I will abstain from lamenting that we still rely upon fossil fuels or that our unemployment rate has not yet plummeted to five percent. Nevertheless, some of Mr. Obama's actions - and inactions - are deserving of honest critique.

Before I get into that, I would be remiss if I failed to mention some of grand successes that this President has achieved in his first year. The stimulus package, while flawed (I will get to that later), was absolutely necessary in order to keep our economy afloat. If we had followed the advice of the Reaganomic conservatives who insisted that no such stimulus was necessary, we would likely be reduced to standing in lines for vodka and toilet paper. Mr. Obama signed the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act into law on the 29th of January, and five days later he signed into law an expansion of the State Children's Health Insurance Program that allowed 4 million more uninsured children to obtain coverage. In March, Mr. Obama ended the federal ban on funding for embryonic stem cell research, allowing scientists to conduct valuable studies into the most promising medical enterprise of our time. He also secured the appointment of Sonia Sotomayor, an eminently capable and well-qualified woman, to the Supreme Court, where she will undoubtedly have a long and successful career. In October, Mr. Obama signed another key piece of legislation into law, the Matthew Shepard Act, which expanded hate crime laws to include crimes motivated by gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, and disability.

These endeavors Mr. Obama can count as definite victories. That being said, his other endeavors, both domestic and foreign, are not so black-and-white. The President failed to achieve a quick and cheap political victory by repealing the moronic "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, which has forced nearly 13,000 talented men and women to leave the military since 1993. The stimulus package was faulty with respect to its size and scope. 288 billion of the $787 billion package went to tax relief, while only $111 billion was allotted for "infrastructure and science." If Mr. Obama wanted this package to be truly effective, then he would have made it even larger - at least $1 trillion - and favor infrastructure spending over tax cuts. There is a conventional wisdom among policymakers that tax cuts are the priority; they're not. The reason that a program like Cash for Clunkers worked is because the money to consumers was targeted and conditional; the rebate was only for cars, and you only got it if you turned in an older vehicle and bought a new one. When the government simply hands out money in the form of tax breaks, they are really rolling the dice because there's no guarantee that the money will be spent immediately and in full. This isn't the recession of 2001, which in retrospect was a dress rehearsal compared to this disaster. If we are going to get serious about stimulating the economy, then the focus must be on infrastructure spending.

But the debacle with the stimulus package pales in comparison to Mr. Obama's greatest misstep so far: the battle over health care reform. In an effort to avoid a repeat of Bill Clinton's failure, Mr. Obama has largely been missing in action. He won the election by arguing that he would change the way Washington works, and yet when it came to tackling the biggest issue in American domestic politics he left everything up to the same Washington he had spent two years deriding. It's not at all surprising that, as a result of this lawmaking crusade, Congress is starting to look more and more like the legislature of a third world banana republic. What is remarkable, however, is the degree to which Mr. Obama has allowed this to occur. His involvement in the legislative process has been a categorical disaster. He has remained quiet, unwilling to make his demands known, and has refused to engage in political arm-twisting like Lyndon Johnson did. Instead, he has placed his trust in Harry Reid, an exceptional incompetent who has proven himself an inept leader and worthy of losing his Senate seat in the 2010 midterm. It seems as if, at least as far as health care is concerned, Mr. Obama has jettisoned all pretenses to principles in favor of getting a bill - any bill - on his desk. The Senate health care bill, as it stands, is a Frankenstein's monster of patchwork compromises and deal making that will take a hefty legislative bolt of lightning to bring to life. I would love to be wrong about this bill, that it represents real systematic reform instead of a mere reshuffling of the deck, but at the moment I'm not holding my breath. So far, the President has shown himself incapable of providing leadership and keeping order when it comes to health care, which is disconcerting when one looks forward to the debate over cap-and-trade and job creation.

On matters of foreign policy, one must applaud Mr. Obama's humility and his efforts to reach out to both allies and belligerents. It is to Mr. Obama's credit that he has recognized the hot-headedness and arrogance of American foreign policy over the last eight years and is now working to shift the United States' relationship with the global community. His responses to Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab's attempt to blow up an airliner over Detroit and to the Haitian earthquake have been quick and appropriate. In the former, Mr. Obama immediately ordered a review of the various intelligence failures that led to the attempted bombing, and this report has resulted in much consternation about the state of our counterterrorism empire. In the latter, he has committed the full arsenal of American manpower and equipment to help rescue Haitians trapped under the rubble of demolished buildings and to distribute aid, with the added commitment of an extended American presence in Haiti to help that country build a stable infrastructure. Unfortunately, his policy towards Afghanistan reflects the same kind of indecisiveness and esotericism evident in the health care debate. Out of a desire to keep his campaign promise to escalate our military effort in that country, he has failed to consider the long term implications of the major development in Afghanistan in the last year: the electoral theft committed by Hamid Karzai. Eight years after we invaded Afghanistan, it is still a decrepit narco-state where politicians steal elections and the government in Kabul is utterly unable to keep its people safe. How much more money and time and lives will we invest in that country before we can say we are done? Will we be in that country for another ten, fifteen, twenty years? In an effort to appease both his base and his detractors, Mr. Obama has sent in 30,000 more troops while setting July 2011 as the starting date for a withdrawal. After failing for eight years, Mr. Obama surely cannot believe that sending in 30,000 troops for eighteen months will fix the problem, yet he has not articulated what our mission is in that country, nor what form victory will take. Do we need merely to destroy the Taliban and its allies, or are we on a nation-building adventure? Rather, as with the health care legislation, it seem as if he is merely trying to buy political capital in the hope that he doesn't look like a fool at the end of the day.  

All is not lost for Mr. Obama. He still has another three years to do a lot of good, but the only way he will achieve any of his legislative goals is if the Democratic Party does not lose control of the Senate and/or House of Representatives in 2010. What Mr. Obama must do this year is to give his base some tangible legislative triumph to rally around, a genuine fulfillment of a major campaign promise instead of only "the best we could do." To do this, he has to become much more proactive and engaged in the legislative process. The American people elected Mr. Obama because they approved of his policy stances, so he must make them known and fight actively to ensure that congressional legislation is in line with his campaign promises. If he continues to be detached and fails to draw lines in the sand, then his presidency will be consigned to a single term.

Now I fully believe that any REAL Christian is most likely a liberal. Most real Christians will admit that the Bible as well as Christianity in general has it's fair share of problems and are against judging others and have no problem being open minded when it comes to science and education. But then again, that's us Liberal Christians so obviously by being liberals we are well ahead of our Conservative counterparts.

So today I started thinking, if Jesus were around in this time, how would these Bible thumping, let's hate everyone who isn't like us, the planet is only 10,000 years old, do as I say not as I do ass clowns act towards the person they use as their excuse for intolerance, war and their own self righteousness? Considering that Jesus didn't have an actual job (other than traveling around and preaching to people), and he lived off the kindness and donations of others, I'm going to assume that he would probably be treated pretty cruely. After all, Conservatives don't like to share with the less fortunate, are against welfare, and would probably consider Jesus a drain on our economy that needs to 'get a real job,' and stop taking their "hard earned money that they worked for."
Not to mention the fact that Jesus had no problem helping drunks, prostitutes, criminals and preached of not being judgemental.

So considering Jesus felt that people should spare what they can to help those less fortunate, and not judge other people's lives or look down on them for what the choices they have made, I think it's safe to say that there is no way Jesus would be a conservative. He would totally be a liberal.

Merry Christmas!

"Yes, it's Sisyphean in its nature, but throwing up your hands and saying that no one that's 'just a guy' can get elected - seriously?"



Damn. Try to spend my day cleaning up my kitchen, teasing the cats and viewing porn, and you kids go all thermo-nu-cu-lur over my previous diary "It Takes Clueless Children To Raze A Village"... dammit.

Well, I'll start by losing a friend. Sorry, Faulty.

Overall, Lamb's on the right (well, left) side of the argument.

To your various points:

There's no surprise in our becoming complacent when in 2008, for the first time since 1976 we elected a Democrat (yeah, I know, Clinton... not bad, but... NAFTA? Seriously?) ...and for the first time since 1776 we elected a black guy. Not bad. After eight long, trying, frustrating years of George W. Bush being the dumbest, most arrogant prick we ever elected president in my half-century on the planet, ruining the government and our country's image abroad, now having an articulate, thoughtful, literate president was such a relief that we spent too long exhaling that deep breath we waited eight long, frustrating, maddening years to take.

Oh, do remember we also gained more seats in both houses of Congress. That wasn't so bad, either.

NO, THEY'RE NOT PERFECT, the whole lot of them, and yes, we have the "big tent" diverse views problem, the fact that the Left will NEVER act as a monolith like the Republibots, the fact that CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM IS KEY SO WE ELECT PEOPLE THAT ARE ACCOUNTABLE ONLY TO THE VOTERS, blah blah blah...

Well, guess what: Faulty's right, we're where we are and it ain't perfect.

But Lamb's right: we work with it, do our best to fix it, congratulate the politicos who do the right thing and spank the fucktards who vote as their corporate overlords dictate - and do our best to toss those clowns out next year.  

Debating Dr. Laura

My husband shared this and it's hilarious!  Talk about shining a spotlight on the lack of reasoning skills involved in using the Bible to justify behavior! Even if there is a divine being, surely they gave us the ability to think critically for a reason?

( - promoted by leftake)

Just as a reminder of what kind of propaganda (a/k/a bullshit) effort we're trying - in our underfunded, tiny ways - to counter, Media Matters put together a highlight reel of the right-wing's greatest hits of 2009. Call it Best in Bonkers, FoxFest 2009, Craptacular: Christmas Edition, it's all the same. It'd be hilarious if it were satirical; sadly, it's not.

Not surprising it's almost entirely a Fox "News" indictment, but one must acknowledge they're merely the largest iceburg in a sea of frozen thoughts.

Oh, the big evil media... what can we puny liberals and progressives do?

Um... take a stand, maybe?

Channel your inner Howard Beale.
Scream you're mad as hell.
Scream you won't take it any more.
WRITE the media slugs: the trad networks, the cable networks, radio networks, NPR, PBS; tell them you're fed up with Fare, Unbalanced.
The right-wingers do it; we must do so, too.

Be the change you'd like to believe in.

Here's a conference paper I wrote back in 2008 before the bailout actually took place. It was supposed to be a speech, so it's a bit conversational and long, I'm afraid. I'm currently wondering if tactics like "The Compact" would be of any use in diluting the insane control Corporate America currently exerts on us. After all, the reason they HAVE the money is because we give it to them. So...comments? I'm starting to despair that anything short of attacking corporate profits at this point in history will go nowhere.

It IS very long, so I won't be sad if no one reads this. But do, if you get the chance. The statistics are interesting.

*******

Wouldn't you love to hear some good news right about now?  It seems like all we get is bad. We have an economy that has crumpled like yesterday's paper airplane. We have manufacturing industries that are on the verge of bankruptcy and skyrocketing energy prices. CEOs are hat-in-hand five deep to ask for bailouts from a government that is deeper in debt itself than it's been in the past fifty years.

But within all of this bad news is a silver lining. "Change" is the watchword of the day, and as a nation we're finally beginning to take stock of our priorities. America can finally fix all of those broken systems that we've been putting off for so long. Surely, if we can spend billions to bail out poorly run financial and automotive companies and run a very expensive war for no net gain, we can afford to finally create a systemic plan to safeguard our future.

As we work to get through this current economic slump, we need to take care that the environment doesn't take a back burner to our short-term problems. We must....let me say this again...we MUST address the issue of global warming. Now. Every one of the worries, fears, and concerns I just mentioned a moment ago pale in comparison to a world that doesn't have enough fresh water, one that doesn't grow enough food, and one that can't support the diversity of life that makes our planet habitable.

Not to mention, fixing the environment impacts us economically. The damage from flooding, water pollution, unusual storms, and health impacts is costing us billions of dollars to address. We can't let this continue. If we don't do something now, not tomorrow when we think we can afford it, not tomorrow when we can agree on something to do about it...if we don't do something now it will no longer matter. What Al Gore brought to the forefront of the American consciousness in the last few years hasn't gone away because the economy is in chaos. It's just getting worse.

So, what to do? Where in the name of Gaia do we start?

In a way, we had to reach this low point to embrace the changes we are going to have to make-a point in our economic, financial, and environmental life as a country when we both can and must make systemic changes that include consideration for the environment. We can and must finally rework the system so that it DOES work. No more patch jobs; no more knee-jerk short-term solutions. And as we do so, we can finally apply solid solutions to the problems within our environment, not band-aids. So now, in this time of political and social change, we have both the desire and means. This could be the best thing to happen to the country in the last 100 years.

As we are considering our future, we need to think of one word. No, NOT plastics! That's where we went wrong the first time. What we NEED to think about is PERMACULTURE. You may be familiar with the term, you may not. It's been around for a number of decades, but it hasn't received the attention it deserves.  The essence of permaculture is creating systems that work for the long term.

It was originally an agricultural term, but it is now considered a holistic theory focused on whole system design that works far beyond agriculture. It works by looking at the system as a whole and seeing how all the parts interrelate. True understanding of that relation is the key to the design. Everything follows from that understanding. Then comes planning to fix design problems and apply long-term sustainable working solutions.

Permaculture is based on three basic principles:

• Earthcare - recognizing that the Earth is the source of all life and we should consider that when making decisions and respect it, taking responsibility for our global future

• Peoplecare - supporting and helping each other change to ways of living that are not harming ourselves or the planet, and developing healthy societies

• Fairshare - limiting consumption to ensure that the Earth's limited resources are used wisely and fairly

I'd like to take a look at how these three principles relate to and will benefit our systems of manufacturing and agriculture, and how that will be beneficial to our energy and financial problems. Using the writings of Wendell Berry and Rachel Carson, and actions currently being taken by a grassroots organization called The Compact, I'd also like to discuss changes that I feel will help us create a successful permaculture that meets our human needs while meeting the needs of Earth as well.

As Wendell Berry in his 1977 book The Unsettling of America puts it, "It remains only to say what has often been said before-that the best human cultures also have unity." He goes on to say "In any of these systems, cultural or agricultural or natural, when a species or group exceeds the principle of usufruct (literally, the 'use of the fruit'), it puts itself in danger. Then, to use an economic metaphor, it is living off the principal rather than the interest. It has broken out of the system of nurture and has become exploitive; it is destroying what gave it life and what it depends upon to live....We can build one system only within another....At certain critical points these systems have to conform with one another or destroy one another."

I'd like to start with manufacturing, because the United States aligns much of what she views as "success" with the number of new products she produces. I contend that this is a damaging and unnecessary view, and one of those most hurtful to the environment. According to an IndustryWeek article by David Blanchard in June of 2007, the National Association of Manufacturers said that American manufacturing accounts for $1.5 trillion in gross domestic product. We are the largest manufacturer in the world in terms of total output. The article goes on to say that if U.S. manufacturing was a country, it would be the eighth largest economy in the world.

Think about that for a moment. The rate that Americans are using up resources and consuming energy to produce tangible goods is greater than most of the economies of all other nations of the world. Year after year after year, a flood of new goods enters the market.

So what happens to those goods produced last year, and the year before? Where is the car that you had seven years ago? Where are the clothes you wore five years ago? Did you wear them out, or just discard them for new ones? Were the energy and resources used to make those items and thousands like them really necessary? Far too often, the answer is no. We could have done without and saved that energy and those resources, but we didn't. We have the least sustainable culture in the world at the moment, and - let's be perfectly honest - we know it. But things are changing, because we also know they must for us to survive.

There are an ever-growing number of people coming together to take a stand against unnecessary consumerism. One of the most dedicated groups calls themselves "The Compact." The Compact's stated aims are:

First, to go beyond recycling in trying to counteract the negative global environmental and socioeconomic impacts of U.S. consumer culture, to resist global corporatism, and to support local businesses, farms, etc.  They intend this stance to have the revolutionary impact of the Mayflower Compact.

Secondly, to reduce clutter and waste in homes.

And thirdly, to simplify their lives.

In order to achieve these aims, the members of this group make an agreement with each other to not buy new products of any kind for at least one year. If you need a product, you must buy it used or barter for it. The group offers resources for its members to help them find others that have whatever goods they may need.

Obviously, this is recycling-or freecycling, as many member give away items they don't need-but with much more of an impact than just putting your old soda cans in a recycling bin. In buying nothing new for an extended period of time, you remove yourself from thoughtless consumerism. It gives you an honest appraisal of what you need as opposed to what you want, and expands your creativity in problem solving.

Of course, the Compact allows exceptions to the rule for things that necessarily need to be new, which include things like food, drink, and necessary medicine, but does not include elective treatments like Viagra or Botox; necessary cleaning products, but not equipment such as vacuum cleaners; and personal clothing such as socks, underwear, and children's sleepwear.

They also make exceptions for services, such as various repair people and baby-sitters, emergency services of course, and other types of things, but they require that members use local people and small businesses for their needs. They encourage their members to look for cooperative farms in their area to buy as much food grown locally as possible. In focusing on local business and agriculture, not only are they creating a stronger community by supporting small businesses, they are saving energy by limiting the cost of the transport of goods.

But, really, what is saved by buying a used refrigerator instead of a new one? A surprising amount, actually. All of the material resources used to make the new product have been saved, of course, but there's much more. The energy produced to obtain the metal, rubber, and all of the other raw materials used to make components for a refrigerator. The energy used to transport all of those materials to where the components are made. The energy used to make and transport those components to the refrigerator manufacturing plant. The energy used to put those components together. The energy used to transport the finished refrigerator to the sales floor. Every item, every product produced goes through an entire supply stream that eats up vast amounts of valuable energy and resources.

Compact members very likely save more energy in a year by buying used goods than buying a hybrid car will save its owner throughout its life, especially if it's replaced when newer technology comes along. If we as a nation are serious about "breaking our addiction to oil", then reining in our greed for new goods is mandatory. Not only will we save energy, but we will help clean up our environment. Not only will we clean up our environment, but we will save ourselves money.

Used goods generally cost half of what new ones do, sometimes even less. In rejecting corporatism, there are no impulse buys, no buyer's regrets, and marketing lures have no impact. Members need to work less because they need less money to make ends meet. That means there is more free time to spend in leisure with family and friends.

But, what would this mean to the manufacturing industry? What would happen to everyone's jobs? The fact is, American manufacturing jobs are already on a radical downslide. Due to new computer-driven machinery and other factors, productivity and energy consumption is up while the number of jobs is sharply down. According to the same article by Blanchard, the number of U.S. workers employed in manufacturing has been on the decline over the past decade, with annual employment dropping from 17 million in 1997 to just over 14 million in 2006. The percentage of U.S. workers employed in manufacturing has dropped from 16.5% in 1987 to 10.8% today. So we have more products, more revenue for the large industrial companies. But, we also fewer jobs, and the numbers are dropping.

Not only are there fewer jobs in manufacturing, the wages aren't that impressive. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, the average salary of workers in the manufacturing industry is  $17.76 an hour, with production workers making a median salary of only $10.75 an hour. That's a yearly wage of $22, 360, which is right at the poverty level for a family of 4 in 2008 according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

The net effect is that we are producing many unnecessary goods when the labor and energy could be better spent elsewhere. Why are we creating tremendous amounts of pollution all along the supply chain that is wreaking havoc on our environment and contributing to global warming for such a small payback? We should not be. Why should we buy different cleaners for our ovens, floors, bathrooms, kitchens, white clothes, colored clothes, dogs, cats, cars, carpets, vegetables, and a myriad of other things-all with special packaging that also must be produced as well - when bleach, vinegar, baking soda, salt, and/or mild biodegradable soap will clean almost everything? We are wasting our money and our resources because we have been swayed by millions of dollars of advertising. Again, we should not be that foolish.

The threat of joblessness due to a shrinking manufacturing sector is a short-term prospect at most, and an illusion in the long-term anyway. There are many critical service fields that are in desperate need of increased labor and expansion. By redirecting resources into these fields, America would be much better served than by the production of unnecessary goods, and many of these fields have been understaffed for decades.

A good example is the telling one of the lack of manpower at the Food and Drug Administration. This administration, as you probably know, is the consumer watchdog to protect the public from harm from chemicals in their foods and medicine. Rachel Carson sounded the alarm in her book Silent Spring about the poisoning of the earth with chemicals in 1962. The book was so influential that it helped spawn the environmental movement and spurred changes in government policy. A quote from that 1962 book reads "A vigilant and aggressive Food and Drug Administration, with a greatly increased force of inspectors, is another urgent need."

It was a very popular, very well-known book. It stands to reason that if America values the health of its citizens that we would have addressed FDA understaffing. Did we? Fast forward to December 2007, and an article in USA Today entitled "FDA So Underfunded, Consumers Are Put At Risk." The article goes on to report, and I quote:

The Food and Drug Administration is so underfunded and understaffed that it's putting U.S. consumers at risk in terms of food and drug safety, an advisory panel to the FDA says in a report to be discussed Monday. Findings include:

• Inadequate inspections of manufacturers, noting that foodmakers, for example, are inspected about once every 10 years.
• A badly broken food-import system and food supply that grows riskier each year. In the past 35 years, FDA inspections of the food supply have dropped 78% due to soaring numbers of products and inadequate FDA funding.

• A depleted FDA staff, which is about the same size as it was 15 years ago despite huge growth in agency responsibilities. Instead of being proactive, the agency is often in "fire-fighting" mode.
• A workforce with a dearth of scientists who understand emerging technologies. Turnover rates in some scientific positions at the FDA run twice that of other government agencies.
• An obsolete information-technology system.
The report says that the FDA's IT systems are so lacking that reports of product dangers are not rapidly compared and analyzed, and that inspectors' reports are handwritten and slow to move through the system. The IT systems have resulted in lost FDA data and lack backup systems. Piles and piles of paper documents are in warehouses with no backup, including clinical trial data.

The question that I put to you is...would we, as Americans, rather drive three different kinds of American-made gas guzzling, global-warming-worsening SUVs, or would we rather invest in food safety inspections to keep melamine out of baby formula? It seems like a no-brainer, doesn't it? But, if it's really such a no brainer, why does the Ford Motor Company alone, who the US government as of December 2008 is considering giving a bailout of at least 4 BILLION dollars, produce NINE different options of gas guzzling SUVs for our overconsuming pleasure, while the FDA is still struggling with understaffing and underfunding?

Another quote from Carson's Silent Spring is this: "The question is whether any civilization can wage relentless war on life without destroying itself, and without losing the right to be called civilized." The devastation and economic ruin caused by our irresponsible actions that led to global warming and our current economic crisis will answer that question with a resounding NO if we do not make some serious long-term choices.

Another example is our educational system. We are falling farther and farther behind other nations in education. Long-term human capital in America is being ignored to support short-term industrial and financial capital. With shortages of teachers, classrooms, materials, and college scholarships throughout America today, we are ignoring our long-term needs for the nation's future.

There is a very real link between the investment in education and the success of students-and through them, the nation-in the future. A study was conducted by Craig Olson and Deena Ackerman on the relationship between high school inputs measured at the time male respondents attended high school and the earnings of these same individuals when they were in their mid-thirties. The two published their findings with the University of Wisconsin's Institute for Research on Poverty in 2000. Their results showed a significant relationship between the characteristics of teachers and the earnings of their students 17 years after graduation. Specifically, only a 1 percent increase in the average teacher salary in a district increased the earnings of students by 0.33 percent. Yet, America is continuing to produce and consume vast quantities of unnecessary goods while our educational system languishes. We need to develop jobs that are closer to our needs and less based on our wants if we wish to create a viable permaculture that will sustain our environment and our economy, and that absolutely includes education.

So, to sum up let's look at the permaculture principles and see how we can apply them to manufacturing:

Earthcare: We need to stop pouring energy and resources into unnecessary goods. To take things that are valuable to the environment and then give them back as nothing but waste is absurdly short sighted. Let the manufacturing segment shrink and divert those materials, that labor, and the energy it takes to something more useful long-term.

Peoplecare: We need retool our economy to reflect our priorities. Do we truly value shampoo that comes in 8 different flavors over educational materials, or nine different SUVs from one company over food safety? Of course not. Let's transfer some of that labor, energy and those resources to the long-term solutions and social needs that we value, such as education and healthcare. The elderly need skilled care. Children need smaller classes. We know this, yet we still have an economy that is focused on buying stuff alone. Let's change that. Let's buy more non-polluting services from educated professionals instead.

Fairshare: Buying unnecessary items and discarding them is irresponsible. We know this, yet marketing is allowed to goad us into buying more bad products for less good reasons. We should take what we need, but try and leave what are short-term wants so that the resources can benefit others.

Again, we are at a critical time in our nation's history. If we envision our perfect life, what does it look like? Do we want more labor and materials devoted to educating our children and developing our human resources, or do we want more labor and materials devoted to producing 22 kinds of soap, wasting global resources and energy? One will support our nation's future; the other will damage it beyond recall. This is the essence of what Berry termed a "crisis of culture." It is altogether a moral, ethical, and practical decision. If we show our children how to do this by example, just as racial discrimination has lost traction in a matter of a few generations, so will wasteful consumption.

Agriculture, too, is one of the systems that will need to be rehabilitated for the future success of America. In The Unsettling of America published in 1977, Wendell Berry describes a past where smaller farms raised a variety of produce for local consumption. That diversity preserved the quality of the land, tremendously expensive petroleum-based machinery was not necessary, and more fuel energy was not needed to transport crops thousands of mile across country. Animals and plants lived on the same farm, so that waste from one was a boon to the other in a natural cycle, and so neither reached pollution levels.

Again, as with manufacturing, if we wish to break that addiction to oil we need to consider these two statistics that reflect our current agricultural methods: First, produce in the average American dinner is trucked 1,500 miles to get to the plate, up 22% in the past two decades according to a 2001 study by the Leopold Center for Sustainable Agriculture at Iowa State University, and secondly according to the Environmental Protection Agency, in 1999 the food system was estimated to account for 16 percent of total U.S. energy consumption.

Berry warns of the logical outcomes of gigantic industrial agriculture. He wrote, "the damages of our present agriculture all come from the determination to use the life of the soil as if it were an extractable resource like coal, to use living things as if they were machines.

If animals are regarded as machines, they are confined in pens remote from the source of their food, where their excrement becomes, instead of a fertilizer, first a waste and then a pollutant. Furthermore, because confinement feeding depends so largely on grains, grass is removed from the rotation of crops and more land is exposed to erosion.

If plants are regarded as machines, we wind up with huge monocultures, productive of elaborate ecological mischiefs, mischiefs which are in turn productive of agricultural mischief: monocultures are much more susceptible to pests and diseases than mixed cultures and therefore more dependent on chemicals."

The results described in Berry's warnings are unfortunately coming to pass all to often. The Washington Post ran an article in June of 2008 regarding the major flooding of the Midwest at that time - Iowa in particular. What originally seemed like a fluke disaster caused by too much rain actually could have its source in America's agricultural methods just as Berry describes. The article entitled "Iowa Flooding Could Be An Act of Man, Experts Say" has this to tell us:

The director of an environmental center at the University of Northern Iowa suspects that this natural disaster wasn't really all that natural. He points out that the heavy rains fell on a landscape radically reengineered by humans. Plowed fields have replaced tallgrass prairies. Fields have been meticulously drained with underground pipes. Streams and creeks have been straightened. Most of the wetlands are gone. Flood plains have been filled and developed. "We've done numerous things to the landscape that took away these water-absorbing functions," he said. "Agriculture must respect the limits of nature." Iowans who study the environment suspect that changes in the land, both recently and over the past century or so, have made Iowa's terrain not only highly profitable but also highly vulnerable to flooding.

Crop rotation may also play a subtle role in the flooding. Farmers who may have once grown a number of crops are now likely to stick to just corn and soybeans-annual plants that don't put down deep roots that hold water. Corn alone will cover more than a third of the state's land surface this year. The ethanol boom that began two years ago encouraged still more cultivation.

Another potential factor: sediment. "We're actually seeing rivers filling up with sediment, so the capacity of the rivers has changed," Asell said. He said that in the 1980s and 1990s, Iowa led the nation in flood damage year after year.

Consider for a moment the economic impact of such flooding. According to the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago, $2.7 billion in federal flood relief has been approved to aid 2008 flood victims. The American Farm Bureau estimates crop losses at $8 billion for the Midwest in this one flood alone, with $4 billion of the total in Iowa, which will impact food prices and energy costs. If we think we are making major gains by large-scale, single crop agriculture and changing the hydrology of the land to suit us, we are wrong. We are damaging environmental systems that have taken thousands of years to perfect, and we are seeing systemic breakdowns that are costing us billions of dollars.

Berry's observation was that "this attempt at total control is an invitation to disorder. And the rule seems to be that the more rigid and exclusive is the specialist's boundary, and the stricter the control within it, the more disorder rages around it....the patterns of cooperation are safer than the mechanisms of exclusion, even though they lack the illusory safety of 'control.'"

Using modern methods of trying to exert enough force and control on the land to yield a vast amount of a single crop, Iowa has created the perfect conditions for flooding disasters and has experienced two devastating and expensive ones within a decade. Nothing exists in a vacuum-if there are variables, then control is an illusion. And...there are ALWAYS variables. Rainfall, for instance.

The Washington Post article continued with:

The basic hydrology of Iowa has been changed since the coming of the plow. By the early 20th century, farmers had installed drainage pipes under the surface to lower the water table and keep water from pooling in what otherwise could be valuable farmland. More of this drainage "tiling" has been added in recent years. The direct effect is that water moves quickly from the farmland to the streams and rivers.

So, what happens when "water moves quickly from the farmland to the streams and rivers?" Pollution from pesticides and fertilizer move quickly as well. As Rachel Carson underscored in her "Surface Water And Underground Seas" chapter of Silent Spring, "To an ever-increasing degree, chemicals used for the control of insects contribute to organic pollutants." She goes on to say "Probably the bulk of such contaminants are the waterborne residues of the millions of pounds of agricultural chemicals that have been applied to farmland and have been leached out from the ground by rains."  And so, these floods could have future health consequences that we are not yet even aware of.

Once again, just as in manufacturing we have a system that is in the short term desirable, but in the long term is utterly unsustainable. The ecological and health consequences of monolithic farming are destined to be disastrous, and to continue to grow as Berry suggests.

So, let's take a look at the permaculture principles and see how we can apply them to agriculture:

Earthcare: Gigantic monoculture crops damage the soil and require ever more chemicals to keep them productive. In essence, we are creating a non-renewable resource out of a renewable one. We are also creating waste and pollution out of what should be organic fertilizer from animal wastes. We need to reintegrate the system so that it functions naturally.

Peoplecare: Monoculture crops also increase the likelihood of flooding, erosion, and the leaching of poisons into groundwater. It is not to our long-term advantage to allow this to continue.

Fairshare: Wasting energy on the tremendous transportation costs of a one-crop system is irresponsible and contributes to global warming, which hurts everyone. It also raises food prices and continues our dependence on foreign oil.

In conclusion, we must begin incorporating these ideas of permaculture into the way we address our resources. We have an enormous opportunity to finally start fixing the elements of American as a system instead of as an unconnected group of separate mismatched elements. And as we do so, we can finally incorporate solutions to the problems within our environment that are resulting in global warming. Let me leave you with a last quote from Wendell Berry. "It is impossible to divorce the question of what we do from the question of who we are." It is time we align our actions to our priorities, and work toward sustainable permanent culture.

It's easy for whiny A-holes (myself included) to bitch and bitch about the problems facing the US today.  The problem in this country is everyone seems to moan about the troubles... and no one has the solution.

One word.

Rambo.

That's the man I want representing me.

Teasle: Are you telling me that 200 of our men against your boy is a no-win situation for us?
Trautman: You send that many, don't forget one thing.
Teasle: What?
Trautman: A good supply of body bags.

Beautiful.

100 Senators don't stand a chance.

House of Representatives may be a different story... but I mean, honestly.  ITS FREAKIN RAMBO.

Ready??

Harry Reid takes the floor.  Word vomit leaks from his mouth without either force nor real substance.  He paces a bit, moving around the room.  

General attitude in the room on either side is not one of approval.  

This administration isn't about meeting halvsies.

As he moves back toward a wall, a set of eyes open in the seemingly unbroken decorative wallpaper.

BAM.

Health Reform.

Done.

Don't like it??

He'll knife you.

Afghanistan and Iraq??  Send Rambo.  

FIX IT, ASSHOLES.

Or... he'll blow your fucking head off.

THERE IS NO NATION ON THIS PLANET THAT WOULD LOOK AT THE US AS BEING WEAK WITH RAMBO HEADING THE ADMINISTRATION.  

We could pull out of Iraq and Afghanistan TOMORROW.  And no one would say a word.  We could hold little white flags of surrender to these nations--and no one would say a word.  Because... well...

YOU DON'T FUCK WITH RAMBO.

So, fuck this administration.  Time to look to bigger and better ventures.

RAMBO 2012.

OK.

I'm a little "disappointed........."  With... EVERYTHING.

AOL News was a plethora of information tonight--

Little tinglies of anticipation shuddered through my body as I read the top headlines.

We're expecting THUNDER SNOW here in the Northeast.  A very rare occurrence of lighting and thunder during massive snowfall conditions.  Should start within the hour.  

Then... "Dems Secure 60th Vote For Health Reform"

Fucking yay.

What does it even matter anymore??

It's like promising your kid a dirt bike.  Then, upon taking them to the store--saying "Sorry, Billy, it's too expensive but what we CAN do is give you a MOUNTAIN BIKE."  It's no freakin dirt bike, but the kid's still happy.

Once in the ... mountain bike aisle?? ... a looming and decrepit man dressed all in black, with transparently white skin, terrible breath and a long, bony, wavering finger tells you all the EVILS of mountain bikes.  

"OK, Billy.  It seems as though owning a mountain bike will cause you to strangle puppies and smoke weed..."

And after compromise after compromise after compromise... the kid walks with a fucking pack of sugarless gum.

I digress.

Then, I read of Obama's trip to Copenhagen to meet with the UN.  

Once again... nothing accomplished.  The US agrees to throw billions of dollars to "developing" nations to reduce emissions... but reducing the emissions in our own country is too much to ask...

So Venezuela is pissed at Obama.  

Fucking Venezuela.

OH... and nothing has actually been signed into a legally binding contract.

Thhheeeeeeennnnn I read about the defense bill.  

Don't get me started.  BILLIONS UPON BILLIONS OF MORE DOLLARS THROWN INTO THIS FUCKING C.F.

So now, EVERYONE IS PISSED.  Or at the very least disappointed.

There is not one single group who's agenda has been met--or who can hope to reach fully their expectations.  

Unless there's a convening of the Indecisive (metaphorically) Dickless Americans Society I have not been formally made aware of.

Please, sign me up.  Last I checked, being a part of the functioning members of society meant REAL FUCKING DECISIONS WITH REAL FUCKING CONSEQUENCES AT SOME POINT DURING YOUR CAREER.

And this is not aimed primarily at Obama.  This is not an anti-Obama diary.  

THIS IS A WHAT THE FUCK HAVE WE DEVOLVED TO AS FUCKING AMERICANS DIARY.

All of this started with great promise.  

And so, I'm angry.  AT EVERYONE.  To the conservatives who used fear mongering and lies to impede the progress of what COULD HAVE BEEN the greatest reform of our lifetimes.  

To them,

AWESOME FUCKING JOB.  Your kids won't have to pay quite as much for this.  Hopefully, after you're long gone from this planet, and THEY'RE suffering hard times I'm sure they'll be thankful their taxes aren't quite so high.  I'm sure, when THEY are unable to provide for THEIR children due to high medical costs, or maybe when THEY are denied coverage for some claim-- they'll be thanking you then too.  FOR THE FUCKING PRINCIPLE.  Right??

To Harry Reid, Joe Lieberman, Bart Stupak and any other sorry excuse for a FUCKING human being who aimed to impede the progress of Health Reform:

A big, giant, FUCK YOU.

And to the industries of this nation, slowly but surely poisoning the earth and our priceless natural resources.  To the conservatives who fail to recognize global warming as fact (or at least a FUCKING POSSIBILITY THAT SHOULD BE ADDRESSED), and to the leaders with the power to start proactively searching for alternate methods of energy and fuel (and haven't done so)...

YOU FUCKING SUCK.  Grow a pair.  Fix the emissions HERE.  The US and China are the 2 top offenders... and Obama is drafting bills for the UN for THE REST OF THE WORLD to follow?

Maybe MY logic is the one that's flawed??

BLAH.

Did I mention I'm angry?

This has been far too long in coming, so let's just get right to it...

Senate Passes Defense Budget

In a vote of 88-10, the Senate passed the $626 billion defense bill which includes "$128 billion for military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan".

88 votes in favor of spending money.  Hmm...where were the fiscally conservative Republicans on this one?!  Oh yeah, that's right, when it comes to spending money on the military, they are all in.

Hmm...what could $128 b...b...billion be spent on otherwise?  Oh me!  Pick me!!  Pick me!!!  Ok...go Rhea.  ::ahem::  $128 billion a year could be spent on providing health care for all Americans.  Ding.  Good girl.  But that would blow out the deficit and increase the size of Gov't...and we all know how CONservatives are against that.

Plus, if we did that, how will we keep the country safe from those evil terrorists living in their caves?!

Furthermore, Dick Cheney would have another fucking heart attack, yet live.  Sometimes having the world's greatest health care (not health insurance...rather health care!) isn't such a good thing.

---

Pope John Paul II and Pius XII move closer to saint-hood

Pope Benedickt XVI moved JPII and Pius XII an important step closer to beatification (a fancy way to say "saint-hood").  Oh thank goodness, because we need more saints.  Afterall, JP II did soooooooo much for women and the G/L community.  He...er...hmm...well now they...um...yeah...no.  And Pius was Pope when the Jews were being exterminated in Europe.  He also oversaw the Vatican when it was involved in some little, insignificant program known as Odessa.  But I'm sure, just like the Holocaust, the Odessa program never really happened.  Right?

Anyway, how about this mr. pope dude sir guy - give women equal rights and standing in the church?  Now that would be Real Progress that you could oversee!  Even if you are against Gays/Lesbians, you should be able to see that women aren't second class citizens anymore.  "Should" being the operative word, of course.

---

Sucking Nelson's Nelson

In order to get Ben Nelson, Senator from Nebraska, on board, here is what he got...

- "the bill lacks a government-run insurance option of the type that House Democrats inserted into theirs".

- "a proposed Medicare expansion was also jettisoned".

- "States would be permitted to ban insurance coverage of abortions in policies sold in the exchange".

- " increased federal funds to cover his state's cost of covering an expanded Medicaid population at a cost that one Democratic official put at $45 million over a decade".

Did you tell Reid that you love him after he swallowed?  I hope so...he deserves something afterall.

Anyway, Senator Ben...just become a Republican ok?

I hate people who bitch, but offer no solutions.  So here is the plan Dems should use immediately...

#1. tell Joe and Ben to go fuck themselves.  Yup...fuck the 60 votes.  Seriously. (you'll see why in a moment)

#2. put the public option back in.  Take out the abortion language that makes Nelson so hard.  And put back anything else you conceeded to get Joe and Ben on board.

#3. let the Party of NO delay, stall, and block the bill.

#4. do something intelligent for once. ::gasp:: Use the technique against them!  While they are using up all of their ammo, Dems should make a plea straight to the American public.  Just show why the bill is good for America and what the populace can do to get their elected officials on board with it.  You don't have to use scare tactics or fear mongering.  Just use facts and logic.  America might be dumbed down at this stage in its history, but people still have a little common sense left.  Appeal to that.  Afterall, America loves an underdog.  And if the Dems could show that THEY are infact said underdog, the public might back them.

#5. let the chips fall where they may.  This may or may not work.  But, damnit, at least a strong bill will be put to a vote.  This is our chance to get this done.  Don't pass a wet noodle that's just going to fall apart when implemented.  What's the use in that?

---

The Copenhagen Accord

In what is turning into the year of "great ideas that are being passed in heavily watered-down versions", the Copenhagen climate meeting is finally over.

Poor countries are getting billions every year to fight the effects of climate change.  Sadly, who is going to over-see how that money is distributed?  I remember plenty of times in the past when the Gov'ts of poor countries pocketed aid instead of using it for it's intended purpose.

To make matters worse, rich, industrial countries are not bound to meet the tougher carbon standards.  This is because the accord is not legally binding.

To make matters dreadfully worse, the 'tougher' standards aren't really even that tough!

So what the hell is the use?!  Very little is going to change because of this accord.  All it has done is further damage Obama here (the right will use it to, first of all, show how weak of a leader he is, and then offer it as further proof that he wants a "world wide redistribution of wealth").

The further graying of Obama's hair wasn't worth this pile of garbage.

I'm sorry people, but this has to be done...

Let's talk about some reality finally - Oh Shit!

I know many of you know what this deals with.  But let's discuss it anyway.  Afterall, we aren't feeling the effects of climate change, so we have time to do so.

Nothing happens in this society/country/world until we reach Oh Shit!.  Sadly...pathetically...even after we reach 'oh shit', change sometimes gets bogged down by people's short term memories.

I fully applaud what was attempted at this meeting.  I am 120% in favor of doing what we can to derail climate change.  But, the reality is that it won't happen any time soon.  Even worse, as the effects grow in intensity and occurrence, the other side will just claim the planet is going "through one of it's phases".

I've even heard a conservative claim that humans just are too small and powerless to affect something as big as the Earth.

Well...I guess no one has ever died from a virus because those are pretty god damn small compared to the human body.

I love mis-logic.

Anyway, strap in sports fans.  The ride isn't going to be easy nor fun.  We haven't reached Oh Shit! yet.  And we might not until long after we are dead, with our children and grand-children inheriting our mess.

---

Church Group Attacks Christmas Commercialism

We shall end with christians showing some common sense.  I know I know...it's rare, but should be high-lighted when it happens.

It seems that a growing number of Christians are growing unhappy with the consumerism message of Christmas.  People want their time and energy to go towards making the lives of others better...instead of worrying if their children are going to enjoy the gifts that were bought with money they didn't have.

Say what you want, but that's a pretty nice step in the right direction.  I know the awesome people on this site would rather puke on their brand new shoes than acknowledge Christmas.  But still, this does show there are people out there who can think for themselves.  Even if they aren't thinking the way that you want them to.

A poem from our friends at cracked.com, with a change or two from your friendly liberlinlimbo. Not suitable for Children:
All 'round the world, At this time of year,
Old St. Nick spreads some holiday cheer.
Handing out candles, teddies, and toys,
To every last little good girl and boy.

Ensuring our hearts are filled with song,
But this year, sadly, something went wrong.
There's nothing but sadness up at the North Pole,
Today Santa Claus feels a hole in his soul.

He woke to a sight that 'twas horrid and shocking,
Every present was gone, down to the last stocking.
"All my toys are gone! Ho no, what a scandal!"
"Shut the fuck up!" cried someone. Twas Daniel.

Dan had been crashing with Santa for weeks,
Waking only to drink, curse, and take leaks.
He was Santa's 'half-brother' or so was the claim,
They didn't quite look, or act much the same.

But Santa was kind and let Daniel crash,
Gave him some food, and loaned him some cash.
This time around, though it would appear,
Santa was the one in need of some cheer.

"What the fuck's your problem?" Dan asked with a glare,
"Oh nothing" said Santa "you needn't care.".
"I just want to help you, you fat piece of shit",
"So tell me what's wrong, I'm about to get lit.".

"Everything's wrong Daniel, nothing is right.",
"The toys were removed by some thief in the night.".
"The toys we make every moment we're waking.",
"Now they're gone and my heart, it is breaking.".

"So you got the night off!" Dan practically shouted,
"No reason to be such a vag about it.".
"Don't you see, can't you realize?",
"Christmas is ruined!" There were tears in his eyes.

"I'll never hit all the houses tonight",
"Santa's a failure." "Yeah, that's about right.".
"This is important Daniel, so listen.",
"All of the candy and presents are missin'!"

Like snickers, and twizzlers, and watcha-ma-call-its!"
"Say word", said Daniel, as he swiped Santa's wallet.

"Poor little Susie's expecting a sled,
I guess she'll just settle for nothing instead.".
"To her brother Timmy, who just turned eight,
I promised a set of brand new skates".

"And I promised their father a new snow blower!',
Dan quickly added, "I 'bought his wife blows slower?".
"Christmas is cancelled, I finally blew it.",
Dan thought for a moment or two and said "Screw it.".

"Screw the kids, screw the toys, the skates and the snickers,
I just came into a shit load of liquor.".
Unveiling a massive bucket of booze,
Dan said, "Right here is the cure for your blues.",

"All the finest liquors floating here in this bucket,
With a Twinkie floatin' in it 'cause, you know, fuck it.".
"We'll drink 'til were dizzy, 'til we get the wretches,
Then we'll go meet some sexy elf bitches.".

The Daniel performed a crude pantomime,
Detailing exactly what he had in mind.
"They're so small you can spin 'em like tops"
Santa said simply, "Please Daniel, stop.".

"That's nice of you Dan, but I can't right now,
There are too many children that Santa's let down.".
"Forget those kids Santa, give it up dude,
How you noticed those bastards are quite fucking rude?".

"They're selfish and whiney and crappy at sports,
They're stupid and slow, and fat and short.".
"They're loud, they're lazy, and always throw fits,
Face it St. Nick; children are shit.".

"You know" Santa said "You might just be right",
"I forgot what I said, but let's go with that for tonight.".
Two hours later Dan and Santa were really fucking wasted,
Both had eaten the Twinkie, but neither could taste it.

They decided to take a trip in the sleigh,
Dan called up the reindeer and picked up the reigns
"On Splasher and Cancer, Clamper and Flickin',
On Grommet and Stupid, and Boner and Dixin!".
The eight flying reindeer were fairly confused,
Not used to Dan's names and verbal abuse.

To drive his point home he said "I'm not lying:
I will fuck every reindeer that doesn't start flying!".
Quick as a heartbeat, the reindeer were cruising,
With Dan and Santa in back, still boozing.

"I still got this list of good girls and boys,
The one's I was supposed to give buttloads of toys.".
"We should stop by, like, 'wassup little Timmy?
How you like Santa pissin' up yo' chimney?".

"I bet he wouldn't like it." Said Dan with a smile,
"But let's stop and do it, I've had to piss for a while.".
So they'd  crash onto rooftops and stumble around,
Stealing whatever fine booze could be found.

If they came across children or people in general,
Santa would smile and whip out his genitals.
"How's this for Santa balls.", He'd say with a laugh,
Then he'd run off, and take another quaff.

And if they came across a young woman alone,
Dan would grab her and give her a quick, friendly bone.
Then they were back in the air, 'twas almost morning,
Sobering up and no longer horny.

"I'm glad we did this, you really are funny.",
"And I'm glad I sold all those presents for money".
Still tipsy and bleary eyed, Santa sat up,
"Hold - hold on a sec. Daniel, you what?".

"Oh that's a boring story, you don't want to hear it,
Tonight's all about the Christmas Spirit.".
"The Christmas Spirit is wherever you find it,
Like this dumpster right here - let's get shitfaced behind it.".

The Mall Of Shame

In case you haven't figured it out, I pretty much despise conspicuous consumerism. Anything with DKNY, Tommy Hilfiger (I refuse to look up the spelling for that) or Gucci on it - actually, none of those or any other brands of evil useless, overpriced crap has no place in my home or on my body.

And as much as I hate consumerism, I hate the cathedral to consumerism even more. The Shopping Mall is like my own, personal, live, 3-D hell. And there is no mall bigger or stupider or more chock-full of evil, slave-labor produced shit that nobody would ever need for any reason whatsoever than my home state's own Mall of America.

Now, to be fair, I've only been in that fucker twice, and that's two times too many. The first time I was in there was right around this time of year, shortly after that gargantuan monument to all that is disturbing and wrong with modern society first opened. I was inside that hellish shithole for no longer than thirty minutes before I started to actually get dizzy and physically nauseated.

That is no joke, these vertigo-like symptoms actually occurred. Yeah, right, I'm Mister Funny Man with the biting cynicism and the embittered sarcasm and the scathing satire, but not right now, in this paragraph. I actually felt physically ill after not quite a half hour inside the megamall. Now that I think about it, that sickening experience in the MOA was really a precursor to my "getting lost in the MGM Grand while tripping my face off after a Dead show" experience in 1995.

But seriously, unless you're some sort of corporate whore with $200 pants and designer oven mitts and kitschy overpriced particle board Ikea furniture, there is no way to feel about the interior of the MOA but completely fucking suicidal and disgusted.

Let's have some history, here. The Mall of America is located on the former site of the former Metropolitan Stadium, home to the Twins and the Vikings (and, briefly, the Minnesota Kix) for some 20 years. I shook Rod Carew's hand on the first base line of Met Stadium in 1977, and Gary Gietty's, AND I got my picture taken on the Twin's dugout bench with - no shit - Gene Mach's arm around me. It was "Camera Day" and I got a stray foul ball that day too. So there's some personal boyhood issues involved, here - seeing as how the Fuckers tore Met Stadim down and moved all of Minnesota's sports teams into that fucking eyesore, the Metrodome, and replaced the best homefield advantage in both the NFL and MLB with the biggest goddamned mall in the world. Someone, likely several people, will rot in hell forever over that one. Fucking dicks.

For those of you who are unaware, the Mall of America is the largest indoor shopping center in the world. Aside from the Macy's and the Dayton's and the Marshall Fields and the other horrible stores too numerous to mention, the MOA also has a complete amusement park enclosed within it's terrible walls. The thing is fucking HUGE. 520 stores, a workforce of over 12,000 people attracting more visitors annually than Disney World, Graceland and the Grand Canyon combined, this particular 2.5 million square feet of retail space is perhaps the most horrible thing ever.

Here's some "FUN FACTS" about Minnesota's Shrine to Evil:

If a shopper spent 10 minutes browsing at every store it would take them more than 86 hours to complete their visit to Mall of America. [if a shopper spent 20 minutes per store, it would take a week without sleep or pissing just to get through all that evil]

258 Statue of Libertys could lay inside the Mall. [Praise Enron]

67 Washington Monuments could lay inside the Mall. [praise Halburtron]

If Mall of America had a retractable roof (and it is where an old baseball stadium used to stand), nine Eiffel Towers could stand inside. [Fucking fuckers]

If Mount Rushmore was divided into individual monuments, a president could reside in each of the Mall's four courts. [Or, one of George Bush the junior's small-dicked egos would fit as well]

If the Mall had a retractable roof, two King Khufu Pyramids, the world's largest pyramid, would fit inside. [I am now puking blood with rage and disbelief]

Mall of America's 4.2 million square feet would hold 24,336 school buses. [How many pedophiles would that entail?]

More than 45 miles of US West phone lines are strung throughout Mall of America. [via your own personal rectum and checkbook]

Mall of America is big enough to hold 32 Boeing 747s. [Airborne?]

More than 56 million rides have been given at Camp Snoopy since opening. [Not including bad-touches]

More than 2,500 couples have been married at Mall of America since opening in August, 1992. [See what kind of shit this evil crap inspires?]

No need for heat - Mall of America's guests, along with miles of lights, provide enough warmth to keep the entire complex toasty warm even during the cool winter season (only the entrances from parking ramps are heated). [Okay, that's kind of sinister and gay]

More than 3,000 individuals are registered in the "Mall Walker" program. The 1996 Mall Walker of the Year walked off 140 pounds. [Keep walking, fatass]

In its first five years, the Mall generated 34,700 tons of waste. Through innovative programs the Mall now successfully recycles more than 50 percent of its annual waste. [And that makes the other 17.350 tons okay, for some evil reason, I guess]

The LEGO® Imagination Center blimp is constructed from 138,240 LEGO bricks. Did you know a set of six lego bricks can be put together in 103 million different combinations? [Did you know that a set of six republican legislators can be bought and sold in 104 million different combinations? you will!

They're actually proud of that shit, if you can believe it, and I know you can.

On my second and last trip ever to that vortex of wrongness, I was walking down one of the hundreds of cavernous corridors therein, trying to find something, when a perfect, well-groomed family of four passed me walking the opposite direction. The little boy of this group, in a quasi-orgasmic fit of ecstasy, was heard to say, "There it is! Old Navy, dead ahead!!!" As if he had just found Nirvana (the state of being, not the shitty band), or some crap. I had to take a knee. Little evil mignon. Jesus. True story. You can just imagine the looks I got, kneeling in the presence of Kalvin Klien and (I kid you not - this store actually exists) Linens and Things, trying my damnedest not to puke my fucking guts out at the horror of it all.

The reason I'm going off on this rather obvious topic is that, making an awful situation somehow even more awful and shitty, the famed NBC "Today" program is broadcasting a live remote featuring that horrible bitch, Meriah Kerry (again, I refuse to look up the spelling), in some sort of horrible, awful evil concert from - you guessed it - the center of hell, the MOA. As a tie-in, the idiots at NBC sent some clueless shithead up here to my new hometown, beautiful Ely, Minnesota, to go on an overnight dogsled camping trip. I can't imagine what the fuck they were thinking, but there you have it.

So if you're curious about where I live or you would just enjoy watching some preppie city boy endure 20-below in the middle of nowhere, you might want to tune in and watch. The spot is also available online, if you'd rather not subject yourself to Katie Kouric's terrible bullshit. Click here, then scroll through their "Free Video" thingy until you see a sled dog and hit "play" (windows media player required). My favorite part was when the cameraman laid down on the ice and looked directly into the eyes of an Arctic Husky and nearly got his face ripped off. Idiot. Seriously, though. Check it out. There's some nice shots of winter in Northern Minnesota, and a couple local cuties too. Also, you should probably try to make it inside the MOA sometime, just for the transcendent level of lameness involved. Shudder.

Although Facebook is rarely, if ever, an instrument of social change, what may be the humble beginnings of a grassroots Anti-teaparty movement has sprung up on Facebook.

The group, which calls themselves "The Teabusters" (click here for facebook page) describes itself in the following way:

Are you tired of the "Tea Party" protesters?

Are you tired of President Obama being called a Nazi, a Socialist, a Communist, a Terrorist, or even an illegal Kenyan alien because he wants to fix the economy and provide all Americans with adequate health care?

Are you tired of suggestions that President Obama wants to euthanize your grandparents, bureaucratize your health care, and ruin your life?

If so, join the anti-teaparty movement: The Teabusters!

The Teabusters also have the beginnings of an as of yet undeveloped website: www.teabusters.com

The Teabusters are planning to counter-protest at the National Tea Party Convention and, for the benefit of those Teabusters who cannot travel to Nashville Tennessee, at various public places around the United States.

Here are The Teabusters' Public Statements:

On the Protests at The National TeaParty Convention in Nashville, Tennessee:

The Teapartiers will be having their national convention of crazy at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel & Convention Center in Nashville Tennessee.

Their keynote speaker will be none other than the Queen of the Teapartiers herself, Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

Thus, it is our duty as Patriotic Americans to counter the influence of the crazed and ignorant mob that is actively sabotaging America's Health and Prosperity.

Protests will be held at will outside the convention center or, in lieu of that, wherever we can get media attention over the course of these three days.

Any Teabuster who wishes to help organize this event is more than welcome. Help can include arranging/providing for carpools, helping to find local hotels, helping to promote the event (especially on the blogosphere and Twitter).

Those who cannot make it to Tennessee are encouraged to hold local counter-protests in places where they can get noticed by local media.

On National Days of Protest Around the United States

It is our duty as Patriotic Americans to counter the influence of The TeaPartiers- the crazed and ignorant mob that is actively sabotaging America's Health and Prosperity.

That said, it is unreasonable to expect everybody who opposes the TeaParty movement to be able to travel to Nashville to protest the National TeaParty Convention.

Therefore, all like-spirited Teabusters are encouraged to hold and help organize TeaParty counter-protests at their local Town/City halls or other locations that might attract the attention of the National Media.

If we can't be there to protest the TeaPartiers at their own convention, the least we can do is help prevent the TeaPartiers from dominating the National Media and attempting to Brainwash our fellow citizens and our elected representatives.

Anybody who has a camera is highly encouraged to upload photos of their local counter-protests to this group's page.

Also, anybody who has a movie camera is encouraged to upload videos of their local counter-protests to this group's page, in addition to youtube.

In what also seems like the beginnings of an organized effort for National Mobilization, The Teabusters has also encouraged its members to create and organize local chapters through meetup.com, the Pittsburgh Chapter being the first.

Washington (API)  Today, in near record time, both houses of Congress passed identical bills that have the effect of raising Senator Joseph Lieberman's health insurance premiums to six million dollars a month.  To avoid any potential problem with special legislation passed to affect just one person, the legislation was originally worded as affecting "any backstabbing Senator from Connecticut who ran for a major party's Vice-Presidential candidacy."  The legislation was later amended to remove the word "backstabbing," because, in the words of an unidentified legislator, "Joe Lieberman is way too big a pussy to ever wield a blade."  

The Senate historian declared that the wording of the legislation effectively only applies to one living individual, Sen. Lieberman.  His colleagues are already starting to refer to him as "The Six Million Dollar Man."  It turns out that he has alienated so many of his colleagues throughout the years he has served in Congress that nobody was willing to speak on the floor of either house in support of him.

The measure was said to have overwhelming support among all the members of Congress who have taken money from the insurance industry, and many are hoping this move will increase their political contributions even more.  It was reported that insurance companies are "falling all over each other" to be the chosen company to collect the monthly premiums.  

( - promoted by leftake)

So there's a Democrat in the White House and both houses of Congress have Democratic majorities. Right? I could SWEAR that's where things stood last time I checked. So why do these people continue to whittle down health care reform?  

Glenn Beck -- the News Actor on the Fixed News Channel. Does anyone actually turn on their television and get their "news" from this buffoon? Maybe they aren't reading the disclaimer at the bottom of their TV screen that says "For Entertainment Purposes Only." Maybe they are scared, confused, or just miserable self-loathing hate-mongers who've never had an original thought in their lives and Glenn Beck is simply telling them what they want to hear.

Here's a recent verbatim quote, ad infinitum ad nauseum, from The Glenn Beck Comedy Hour:

"People it's time, you know, to, to start thinking about constructing fruit cellars and to rely on a "three G system" of "God, Gold, and Guns" in the event of America's collapse, you know, when the system eventually collapses, and the government comes with guns and confiscates, you know, everything in your home and all your possessions, and then you fight off the raving mad cannibals."

Fruit cellars?

Wouldn't the government confiscate those too?

The Soviet Union collapsed in 1991 without the loss of a single U.S. soldier. The United States and the USSR never exchanged gunfire once during the war that spanned the forty-six years between the end of the Second World War and the fall of the latter nation. There were moments when we came close - the two most notable being the Berlin crisis following the erection of the Berlin Wall and the Cuban Missile Crisis - but careful diplomacy ensured that nuclear war ever descended upon the two great superpowers. No single event led to the downfall of Soviet Russia and the Iron Curtain - much to the chagrin of conservatives who insist that Mr. Reagan won the Cold War - but rather it was the confluence of nearly five decades of foreign policy that included Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, and Reagan. More importantly, it was a foreign policy that consisted largely of diplomacy and not military confrontation. It should be noted that the countries in which the United States invested the most military effort during the Cold War - Korea and Vietnam - are still run by Communist parties. The Cold War was not a war of bombs (although many nuclear bombs were built) but a war of ideas. The Iron Curtain only came down when the residents of the Soviet Union and its Eastern European satellite states decided that there was a system better than the authoritarian regimes they had lived under since the fall of Hitler and decided to destroy them from within. That demolition went along better in some countries than in others - Yugoslavia, for instance, followed up its disposal of communism with a near decade-long bloodbath - but nevertheless none of it involved intervention on behalf of the United States military.

It is surprising, then, that we are divorced from the Cold War by only twenty years, and yet we have forgotten its chief lesson. With Mr. Obama sending in an additional 30,000 U.S. troops into Afghanistan in an effort to prop up a failed narco state against the Taliban and Al Qaeda, it is important not to miss the greater goal of this war on terrorism. It is, to borrow Mr. Obama's words, to disrupt, dismantle, and defeat al Qaeda and its extremist allies. But al Qaeda in Afghanistan and Pakistan is just a slice of the entire infrastructure. Al Qaeda is situated throughout the Middle East, in countries like Yemen and Saudi Arabia, and it has also found home in African countries such as Somalia, which is one step down the ladder from Afghanistan considering it has no government, corrupt or otherwise. Additionally, al Qaeda has sleeper cells all around the world, groups of a half dozen or so individuals ready to die and commit acts of violence in the name of Allah. While Afghanistan and Pakistan are important, we cannot naively assume that the destruction of al Qaeda and the Taliban in those two countries alone will cause the dismantling of the entire enterprise of Islamic terrorism. As our adventures in Vietnam and Korea illustrates, ideas, unlike humans, cannot be killed with bullets alone.

Like communism, Islamic terrorism will only become a figment of the past if there is a paradigm shift in thinking that occurs within the Islamic world, and to do so requires a conversation not about terrorism per se, but about Islam. Islam, unlike Christianity and Judaism, has not yet had its moderating moment. The governments and societies of Islamic countries in the Middle East are not too much different from Western European countries during the Dark Ages. Post-Rome Europe was every bit as cutthroat and theocratic as the modern Middle East. Monarchs bowed before the pope, kingdoms waged war against one another, most of the population lived in a state of constant poverty and misery, and anyone who dared to speak out against the Catholic Church was imprisoned, tortured, or put to the sword. Medieval Europe even had its own jihad - the Crusades. Christianity held an iron grip over Europe during this period and the Church largely adhered to a literalist interpretation of the Bible. It was only when secular forces intervened that Christianity moderated itself and Europe was freed from the Dark Ages. As the ideas of the Scientific Revolution and the Enlightenment took hold - rationalist, empiricism, reason, humanism, toleration - Christianity was forced to jettison the barbarism that permeated the Bible and attempted to blend secular and ecclesiastical values. This is why today Christians by in large do not adhere to the Bible's commandment that brides who are not virgins on their wedding night be stoned to death on their father's doorstep, or that disobedient children, heretics, and Jews be murdered wholesale. Such moderation only came as the result of a sea change in terms of what Christian Europe saw as the best way to move forward. A first century mindset would no longer do. Europe - and Christianity with it - had to evolve and adopt new ideas about the intrinsic value of human beings and what was necessary for humans to achieve their full potential.

Such a same mindset change must occur in Islam if terrorism is to truly be defeated. The Islamic world is at a crossroads where they are trying to determine what their values are, and for the most part it seems as if they have been caught off guard. On December 4, a group of militants stormed into a mosque in Rawalpindi in the middle of Friday prayer, firing shots and throwing grenades, and then finally blowing themselves up, killing 37 people, including 17 children. There were absolutely no protests or mass demonstrations anywhere in Pakistan following this brazen attack, yet in February 2006 seventy thousand people gathered throughout Pakistan to protest the Danish cartoons of the prophet Mohammed. There is a values disconnect in the modern Middle East that everyone - from moderate Muslims to Western secularists - is reticent to acknowledge. Part of the reason for that most of the Muslim world - like Western Europe during the Dark Ages - is trapped in a sixth century mindset. We can see that in the institutionalized misogyny that is presented in almost every Middle Eastern country, in the criminalization of homosexuality, and in the sheer number of extremist organizations that roam around killing "infidels" and other Muslims. A great majority of the violence we see taking place in the Middle East today is Muslim on Muslim, the result of a deep rift between the Sunni and Shiite sects that started 14 centuries ago over who would succeed the prophet Mohammad. This is a society for whom the clock is on standstill, or, in the least, is moving very slowly. It is the product of a society that, by in large, has decided to dismiss the great amount of progress that humans have made in ethics, philosophy, epistemology, and has opted to model their way of life on the Bedouin merchants who trekked through the sands of Saudi Arabia all those years ago. It is this refusal to moderate their core principles and to join the rest of the world in a 21st century conversation that should be most troubling to any student of the Middle East.

What can be done about this? The fact of the matter is that there is very little the West can do to force any kind of change. As was the case with communism in Eastern Europe, such change can only come from within. Any increased of military force on our part will only harden the extremists and inflate their ranks. Indeed, the country where reform is most promising at this hour is, ironically enough, Iran. Since the wake of the Islamic Revolution, there has been a burgeoning movement against theocracy from many fronts. The women's rights movement has been particularly strong and has forced the hand of the government to change its policies, expanding employment opportunities and amending divorce laws. Iranian authors and filmmakers have also joined the ranks of the resistance, taking advantage of the regime's ban on Western media to create films and write books with subtle anti-government messages. There is even talk within clerical circles in Qum, the spiritual capital of Iran, of abolishing the post of Supreme Leader when Ali Khamenei dies. What's more, reformers have managed to put pressure on the government without restoring to mass violence and death. The people of Iran may indeed be the model for the kind of grassroots movement that needs to take place in other Islamic countries if there is to be any hope of a moderating moment for Islam.

One is inclined to ask how the Islamic world will go about moderating itself and, in turn, create more peaceful and stable societies. The most important thing that Islamic countries can do at this point is to emancipate their women. You cannot build a prosperous nation if half of your population is oppressed. We see both in the Middle East and in countries around the world that those with the most backward economies and rickety governments are those that restrict the rights of women. If women are given more opportunities, if they get an education and a voice in government and have the ability to be something other than housekeepers and child bearers, then you unleash a socioeconomic powerhouse that can propel society forward. The emancipation of women must also go hand-in-hand with a more assertive coalition of moderate Muslims. The voices of moderate Islam are being drowned out up the bombs and protests of fundamentalist Islam, and if peace is ever to come to the Middle East then moderate Muslims must be more vocal in their opposition to the practices of Islamic terrorists. In particular, moderate clerics need to be the leaders in this moderation effort. Those who are most educated in Islamic theology must come out and say that it is time to put an end to the barbaric practices whose justification is drawn from the pages of the Quran. There need to be protests against misogyny and homophobia and suicide bombing of the same scope and magnitude as the protests against the Danish cartoons and Salman Rushdie. Moderates have to make it abundantly clear that groups like Hamas and al-Qaeda do not speak for them and that if the cycle of poverty and despair is to be broken then the worst elements of Quranic dogma must be shed.

Whether or not it is always obvious, the War on Terror is another Cold War, another war of ideas. Although it is plagued with much more violence and many more atrocities than the Cold War, we must never lose sight of that reality. We must never forget that Islamic extremism will be defeated only when it is defeated from within, when the people of the Middle East decide that they no longer want to live under a brutal and repressive theocratic system that prevents their societies from being the best that they can be. If we fail to grasp the true nature of this conflict and continue to see it only through the lens of military tactics and strategies, then this war will rage on for many decades to come to the detriment of us all.